Tagged: relationships

Time to Revisit Immigrants and Bananas

The main line is sung in a memorable scene in A River Runs Through It, but it took me decades to actually google it.

With absolutely nothing derogatory towards liars, Somalis, or loose band-aids in mind, and instead offered in the spirit of legal immigration, here ya go. You’re welcome.

Yes! We have no bananas!

There’s a fruit store on our street
It’s run by a Greek
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything, he never answers “no”
He just “yes”es you to death, and as he takes your dough
He tells you
“Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today
We’ve string beans, and onions
Cabbageses, and scallions
And all sorts of fruit and say
We have an old fashioned to-mah-to
A Long Island po-tah-to
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today.”

Business got so good for him that he wrote home today
“Send me Pete and Nick and Jim; I need help right away.”
When he got them in the store, there was fun, you bet
Someone asked for “sparrow grass” and then the whole quartet
All answered
“Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today
Just try those coconuts
Those walnuts and doughnuts
There ain’t many nuts like they
We’ll sell you two kinds of red herring
Dark brown, and ball-bearing
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today.”

Yes, we are very sorry to inform you
That we are entirely out of the fruit in question
The afore-mentioned vegetable
Bearing the cognomen “Banana”
We might induce you to accept a substitute less desirable
But that is not the policy at this internationally famous green
Grocery
I should say not. No no no no no no no
But may we suggest that you sample our five o’clock tea
Which we feel certain will tempt your pallet?
However we regret that after a diligent search
Of the premises
By our entire staff
We can positively affirm without fear of contradiction
That our raspberries are delicious; really delicious
Very delicious
But we have no bananas today

They Do Not Conceal Like I Would

It is surprising to me, and seems to surprise most of us, that the bad guys self-identify so strongly.

I am currently reading GW’s biography. There have been parallels to today which are difficult to ignore, even as they aren’t 1:1. For example, I have to admit that had I been British back then, I would probably have been surprised that the colonists were so blatantly identifying as enemies. I would have thought, “Don’t they understand who they are up against? Maintaining neutrality, even as a feint, seems the stronger play.”

But no. When a fight is brewing, the two sides declare themselves.

I think the matter can be put plainly: When you’re on the side of those with the guns, it is surprising that the people without the guns would fight you—but it shouldn’t be.

These contemporary secessionists in Portland, Minnesota, and elsewhere have not yet declared independence. I would say, on most levels, they are miles away from being organized in any sense like those who declared independence back on July 4, 1776. But I will not be teaching my kids that it is surprising that stupid people unabashedly announce the side they’re on.

On the Whole “Effin’ B’” Comment

I would be stunned if my dad has ever uttered that phrase—stunned. Is this because he has never been around “effin b’s”? Or is this because he doesn’t get rattled?

I don’t recall ever saying that phrase, certainly not earnestly. I prefer the “c-word” if I am grump about the fairer sex AKA “ex-wives who steal from me”.

I doubt many of you have ever walked away from a female and audibly declared, “Fuckin’ Bitch.”

But I say that learning that our LEO kills the woman and then utters, “Fuckin’ Bitch” changes the tenor of the scene.

New question: does it change it to “more complete” or “less complete”?

From early high school I grew up in gym locker rooms and loved the honesty I witnessed. For whatever reason, I never quite joined the cursing crowd. And I didn’t really harbor hate towards anyone or any group. But the colorful stories were enchanting.

Nowadays, I spend tons of time around beloved “First Responders”. I don’t exactly consider myself one—pilots like me, to me, are a class above. But these people see things. And what they see is far more “locker room” than “civilization”.

And time is of the essence. So inappropriate jokes still bubble up from time to time—though, unfortunately, professionalism rues the day these days.

Back to the killer LEO. He kills a woman and walks away declaring, “Fuckin’ Bitch.”

Out of the two options I have laid out, the phrase seems to change the tenor to “more complete” in the sense of “more accurate” by my thinking.

These women are out there, folks. My suggestion is try not to be one.

“The Law Must Win”

The law must win.

This is timeless wisdom. This is the proper perspective. This shouldn’t be controversial.

If someone you know, or if you, find this controversial, that does not surprise me. It just means that their (or your) position is anarchy.

Those of us who believe the law must win do not owe the anarchist a Covey-esque attempt to understand or empathize, anymore than we owe thieves or murderers the same.

It should not surprise that criminal behavior and criminal minds exist. It should not be surprising that people disagree that the law must win.

There is no world where we all exist to follow the law. That is the point.

So, the law must win.

We, The “Idiot Savants”

One delightful aspect that accompanies the hobby of reading that I did not expect when I began to read could best be called “following my whims”. In my case, I wanted to be a bit methodical, so I began with a couple sets of liberal education type books (AKA classical education), filled with essays by great and influential writers. (Keep in mind, this “began with” is after master’s level coursework, age 35ish). The editors of these sets would have pleasant introductions which included “for more on this topic” recommendations. And ebay supplied the steady-stream of follow-on books at minimal cost.

Math History is my main “whim” of late. This is because I have a belief that “there is no math in the Bible” and want to be able to explain the importance of my claim eloquently.

After you read Math History for long enough, to the point of being half-way through the first of four volumes of The World of Mathematics, you find essays on “Idiot Savants”.

Here I want to say I have provided enough information to not need to explain what “Idiot Savants” are, but to be clear, we are talking about people—a very, very few in number—who can perform, say, 10 digit by 10 digit multiplication problems in their head. The interesting part is that this ability has no apparent correlation to life skills or general wisdom or even other talents, professional or otherwise. IE, most jarring, even these “Idiot Savants” can be not good at math in the complete sense. In a word, to modern man, they are perplexing. Just what exactly is their “skill” or “talent”?

The above picture of the plate is something I took in a downtown toy store, one of the last holdouts of its kind, in my city. There are a couple of problems with it; can you spot them?

  1. If a kid can’t eat, a kid can’t read.
  2. If a kid can’t put food in his mouth, a kid isn’t hungry.
  3. Eating does not require plates.
  4. If a kid can’t distinguish plate from table (as manifested by their inability to keep the food on the plate and off the table), then they certainly aren’t able to distinguish individual sections within one (1) plate.
  5. Some forks, especially kid-sized, have three prongs.
  6. Lastly, and this may be picky, but if you’re going to put dinosaurs on a baby plate, I think the least you could do is label them with their names, followed by phonetic spelling. How else will the child learn?!

Faithful Readers, there is a big world out there. If your world is small, in other words, if you feel like you’re really close to finally being fully tooled and comfortable at, this, our problem-riddled life, then I challenge you to consider if you are, in fact, an idiot.

The Natural Response to Seeing Clearly: Thankfulness

Sight has aways been important in my life. For whatever reason, from the youngest age, whenever I took a vision test and had 20/20, people told me I could be a pilot.

These days, as a pilot who often flys with night vision goggles, I can’t help but wonder how different life would be if the ancients had NVGs available as they searched the sky.

Of course, the fact that they didn’t is because of their own ridiculous beliefs about motion and rest and circles and spheres.

I remember a childhood friend who had recently got a better prescription telling us how different the world looked. She said something like, “It’s like the trees now have individual leaves.”

How did she react? Obviously she was thankful and happy about her new glasses.

Why, then, is this not the case when we use telescopes and microscopes to see more than before?

Why would seeing more somehow make us angry?

Why would seeing more somehow make us give up beliefs, like Christianity? It’s not like Christianity said, “There are three hundred stars, and the smallest unit of material is a grain of sand.”

If we can see more, I think the appropriate response should always be the same—and limited. We should be happy and thankful.

It says more about your heart, or more broadly “you”, than it does about the “data” (what is now seen) when you react otherwise.

On Somalis

The best thing, if you ask me, about what’s happening in Minnesota regarding the Somalis is, wait for it, the Somalis have literally no idea what is happening!

They don’t know what Minnesota is. They don’t know what America is. They wouldn’t care if they woke up back in Somalia. They, by every measure, are utterly ignorant people who also are illiterate. Their only path in life is following the herd. Can they even commit fraud if they don’t know how to commit fraud?

It’s great to actually ponder these facts at the deepest level and significance.

What is man?

Just Feel Like Doting On My Son and His Father

He’s down in the family room, riding a wooden rocking horse around the room. In his hand is a stuffed “stick” which is part of a marshmallow roasting stuffed toy. He doesn’t think it’s a stick, though. It is a rifle.

Oh. And don’t forget the Christmas tree and other seasonal decorations. And a giant grizzly bear, lovingly known as “Papa Bear”. And a toy helicopter that over 2 ft long!

Want to know how you too can reproduce this scene in 2025? It’s easy: no tv!

Happy Thanksgiving! And Merry Christmas!

In Idea Form, Even As an Ideal, Communism is Not Good

This post is in response to “reality.” The sober reality being communism and Islam just won’t go away. On some level, by my thinking, either (a) people do not want them to go away or (b) people’s actions and efforts aren’t aligned with their desires. Put another way (b) could be stated as people who desire communism and Islam to go away aren’t actually fighting communism and Islam. It’s like there is some kind of terrific straw man that is terribly bruised, bloodied and down for the count after all the attacks, but, whatever is lying there lifeless, it ain’t communism and it ain’t Islam.

With Islam, the faithful reader knows my idea. To recap, Christian apologetics or Christians who desire to prove “there is a god” are, in fact, feeding Islam—because this “god exists” is Mooohamed’s coranic argument. In their well-intentioned act, they are not helping spread Christianity. So I say, “Good Christian Men, Stop! Stop defending ‘god’ and instead stick to the Gospel. Hone your speaking skills to mirror the NT writers as much as possible. Or be quiet. But either way, stop arguing for Mooohamed!”

My new realization or tactic regarding communism, the fatal flaw I see that leads to (b) above, is when we say, “Sure, it’s good in idea-” Stop! Stop right there! The mistake has appeared. It is early. No need to continue to “but it doesn’t work in practice.”

By giving the “idea” of communism the appellation “good”, all things considered, I think we are actually and unwittingly feeding the beast, as it were. If communism (or any idea) is really a good idea, then, by all means, let’s make it a reality, right? But communism is not a good idea. I mean this as literally as it can be meant. Communism is not a good idea.

Practice saying it with me.

“Communism is not a good idea.”

Good.

Now spend a moment to develop whatever you’re comfortable with using to defend our declaration, which need be our response to the subsequent, “You don’t think feeding the hungry and clothing the naked is a good idea?”

My own response will be, “Now we’re talking! See, I always imagined communists like yourself couldn’t make their ideas concrete. Like, I thought you guys were robots with great deficiencies, including the inability to get specific. As odd as it sounds, you just made my day. I am very happy to learn I was wrong. So communists are interested in feeding the hungry and clothing the naked? I don’t see why we can’t do it together right now. Let’s go! How much food, clothes, and money do we have between us?”

This illustrates the communist lacks integrity (is not good), because they don’t want to actually feed and clothe. (And if, on some off chance they are willing to pound the pavement, there literally are no negatives apart from daily risks which accompany life on earth.)

I concede that it is entirely possible that you or I will run into a more academically-minded communist. Upon hearing us declare or correct, “Communism is not a good idea,” they might not go concrete and instead they might stay idealogical and say, “You think planning is wrong?”

To them my response is, “By no means, sir! And what’s more, I am very glad to learn you and I agree that planning is a core, if not the core, tenant of communism. What a day this has turned out to be. There is no time to waste. Let’s get down to business. I say first up is, it should be small and reasonable, where to go for lunch. Oh, I should have asked, have you eaten? I am starving. What’ll it be. My favorite is Little Caesar’s. Of course they don’t have seating, but we can find some other place to sit.”

This illustrates the communist is selfish (is not good), because they will not agree to Little Caesar’s. (And if, on the off chance, they do agree to go, you just keep planning everything. How to get there. Who drives. Which side of the street to walk on. Who goes in first. Who orders. Who pays. How to split the bill. And on and on and on. The key is reading the room. You’re not trying to be an arse-hole. You’re trying to reveal that you and him/her are not the same person.)

Have fun with it, and feel free to comment below with your own post-“Communism is not a good idea”-declaration scenarios.

In any case, seriously, in the old sense, I beseech you, please stop saying “Communism is a good idea”. It isn’t.