Tagged: Movies
Why Am I So Nervous About The Odyssey?
Some first reviews are out. Hollywood Reporter has a smattering of headlines.
The professional class, our betters, are gushing.
They are gushing about set pieces and Nolan’s bravery in embracing horror, as well as many other non-book parts of the movie.
If you haven’t been following, the influencers have taught me a new word, “ratio’d”, during the ramp up to this movie. Apparently the young’ns are trying their own hand at reading entrails and the pairing they have noticed and named lately is when a trailer has less likes than either dislikes or comments. (No news is still good news, it seems. Meaning, comments are never in support of trailers.)
So The Odyssey trailer has been ratio’d. And it has terrible casting.
What does it have in the pro’s category?
IMAX film. Live Action/limited CGI—maybe none. (Not quite sure). Nolan’s reputation. The title matches an epic poem, the epic poem of Western Civilization, that no one has read recently.
That’s about it.
Will I go? No. I have been reading and the honest truth is that it is starting to take its toll on my movie watching. Books are just so much better than their movie adaptations, especially when the adaptations are woke. So no. I’m sure I’ll watch it at work. But no money will support these things.
Dad vs. Park Grandma
A- (5.85 yrs old), J- (4.25), and I biked 2+ miles to our favorite park. No training wheels. No issues. It wasn’t the first time.
Somehow, once at the park, while walking their bikes, I heard a noise and turned to see J- had fallen. Two moms nearby fulfilled their unsolicited and unhelpful duty of pitying the boy. I pedaled on, wondering why my progeny ever got off their bikes.
After our lunch at the park, it was now A-’s turn to make a noise while falling which attracted my attention. This time it was a nearby, skinny grandma who lurched and wobbled in indecision as she couldn’t decide her place in the wide world.
I, projecting loud enough to be sure this skinny (I want to say “crackhead” but you’ll think I’m judgy) grandma would hear, said, “She’s okay! She’s okay. Bruce Wayne’s dad let him pick himself up, and he became Batman. So I figure that’s the best way.”
I would’ve expected silence, and maybe a chuckle. I mean, what options had I left open for response anyhow? Firstly, it ain’t her kid and the father made his pronouncement—even giving the reason. Secondly, mind your own business, especially when a father is around.
But nooooooo.
She replied, “Or how ‘bout she just has girl power?”
It’s been over an hour and I am still under a disturbed spirit.
If my daughter had girl power, if girl power existed, then she wouldn’t have fallen, ya stoop-id b-!
No, ma’am. My daughter doesn’t have girl power. She has a dad. And her dad likes Batman, especially in the role of allegory. And her dad knows that humans of both sexes fall down, and when that happens, the only thing to do—the best practice for all places and times—is to let kids learn how to pick themselves up.
Literate vs Illiterate Love According to Hollywood
I recently rewatched The English Patient. (You should too.)
I also am looking forward to seeing Avatar’s latest installment, but refuse to pay.
Today I want to draw attention to the way Hollywood handles the constantly interesting problem (to literates) of illiteracy still existing on the Earth.
In EP, she says, “I wanted to meet the man who could write such a long paper with so few adjectives.” Any man who could write that paper would know instantly that she was his for the taking.
In Avatar, there is an assertion (“I see you”), which is context dependent. Men can say it to men in greeting, but it can also mean, “I want to have babies with you.” Here’s the second meaning’s scene.
Question to ponder: Are they actually communicating the same idea?
Follow-up for “this-is-difficult camp”: Are they even able to communicate the same idea, as in, can illiterate people actually “see as far/much/deep” (metaphorically) as the literate?
Enjoy!
“White Sinners”, A Review of The Bride!, by Maggie Gyllenhaal
Motionless pictures can be art, too. The Bride!, like Sinners, is art for the reason motionless pictures can be art. The trouble, the thing that has everyone ate up, is Ms. Gyllenhaal’s picture is in motion. Hmm.
Lucky for her, the door for this kind of post-post-modern, detached, boundary-less art was opened by Mr. Coogan (and I am sure others). Just the same, I have always heard about some people who are able to be captivated by a single painting for hours. That is the closest this wind-riding-knuckle-dragger-with-a-blog can use in describing how this movie works.
Is The Bride! a reimagining? I have no idea. The interwebs confirm that there is no book by Shelley. Apparently there is an early movie and some other movies and books of the titular concept (Bride of Frankenstein). But I am pretty sure this film is just an original continuation story—and it should have been marketed and reviewed as such.
The most striking part of the movie was the leading lady’s effortless range. I mean she goes from repulsively demonic to irresistibly infatuating in the blink of an eye.
The gore is realistic and nauseating—another instance of “I hope my kids never find out I watched this”.
There are scenes of obvious first wave feminism (…like I know what that distinction means to experts. What I mean by first wave is that some women don’t want to be stay at home moms). But unlike some reviewers, I didn’t see it as proselytizing or advancing an agenda. It’s just a movie, folks. At ease!
On the whole, in addition to Sinners, I place it alongside Joker 2. I would like to give it a second chance now that I know what’s coming. But I am not sure there will prove to be enough time.
The Briefest Review of Glenn Powell (After Watching Running Man)
He ain’t got it.
Arnold had it.
Sly had it.
TC has it.
Even the name “Glenn Powell” cannot be a part of the “it” that he so desperately seeks. Tragic, in a way.
(To be honest, the movie was actually better than I had heard. Preachy at times, but, on the whole, enjoyable and entertaining.)
SBVI (Speech for the Blind or Vision Impaired), A Review of Nuremberg, by James Vanderbilt
There used to be an option to turn on CC (closed captions). Now, that is pretty much always on by default. But for the deaf or hard of hearing, there is a new option called SDH, which is all that CC is, but also includes text descriptions like “intense music” or “dog barking” or “door slams”, if the sounds are off camera but deemed important to the story.
Well, I just turned off Mr. Vanderbilt’s Nuremberg, after a mere twenty minutes. Why? Because the script was terrible. In a word, the dialogue ran on as I had enabled some option to enhance a movie for people who are blind or vision impaired (SBVI).
In other words, the movie would show a man riding on a train, and then one character would say to another, “I am sitting here on this moving train, on a seat.”
Just terrible. What a waste. That I made it twenty minutes is embarrassing. First scene of some weird AI looking smoke blowing around behind abandoned cars was when I could tell it wasn’t for me. Oh well. Mortal Kombat II is only two months away!
Beasts vs. Bits, A Joint Movie Review of Beasts of the Southern Wild by Benh Zeitlin and Tron: Ares by Joachim Rønning
How does one land on 2012’s Beasts of the Southern Wild in 2026? Easy—if you’re a helicopter pilot.
Here’s how.
You call a friend, a fellow helicopter pilot, and while talking entertainment, he recommends True Detective (only S1). You watch it. During the call to discuss and thank for the recommendation, the conversation includes “really like the setting as character” and turns to Louisiana, and fears and love of that place. Next you recall that your friend has spent some time there because of “flying in the gulf”. Intermix some marriage and family chatter, mostly involving cross-cultural marriage, and the self-same friend mentions Beasts.
That said, here is what I sent him after my viewing.
1. Not in category of my “favorite movies” but definitely in category of “perfect movies”.
2. Can’t say I have ever seen a better performance by an actress than that girl.
3. I’ve been reading books on Jesus’ parables for a couple months now (on second book…) and this movie definitely fits as parable or allegory—but on steroids. It is amazing how many aspects of life it covers, and that I want to think more about all of them.
4. I think a lot about death and dying, and the lack of dignity we give it. The “plug you into a wall” line is the best summary of what is wrong with modernity’s handling of it that I have ever heard. And I cannot think of a better way to go than while holding someone I love.
Today I will add another thought I had—which will connect to Tron: Ares.
5. I love when a movie is clearly made by one and only one person. Beasts is so singular in its focus there is no doubt in my mind that we are watching a true artist at work—not the shapings a committee or AI.
Tron: Ares on the other hand is clearly, and unsurprisingly, the work of a ‘system’. The ‘system’ being the largest contributor to the death of art. Even when only one director is named, everyone (who cares) knows Mr. Fancy “O” didn’t make the movie he wanted to make. Instead, he made the movie he was allowed to make. Who gave him permission? Unspoken facial expressions. Indirect, latent meanings to rhetorical questions. The lowest common denominator of risk aversion. At every level, Tron: Ares was adulterated. I’m not trying to start a new conspiracy theory, but very really and truly Tron was made using the precise methods AI uses. Unfortunately for us, that is not how good art is made.
As far as the movie goes, the visuals were exactly what I wanted to see and watch. The jet ski chase seen being a definite win. The story was lame for anyone who knows the word that follows “paperclip” when talking about AI.
But the nuance I want to emphasize here is that Tron fails for every reason that Beasts succeeds, and yet Beasts is not made by Beasts.
In short, there is a terrifically false urban legend that tribal peoples have some great “lore” or stories from which they draw strength and unity of purpose and longevity. The sober truth is nothing could be farther from the truth. It is the leading civilizations, it is Western Civilization that has the great “lore” or stories from which we draw strength and unity of purpose and longevity.
To be clear, all that needs to occur for me to be proven wrong on this point is some tribe, be it one with truly no contact with modernity, or, say the Somalis, to make Tron: Ares. Or even the first Tron. Hell, I would happily recant if they used an ink pen of their own creation to write a story, or a Somali assault rifle to board a ship, or even musket in the case of piracy. But they don’t, won’t, and haven’t. This lack of good story is not the result of some external circumstances, it is the reason for external circumstances.
In using Somalis, I am not bashing some “race” here. I am merely making the point that even the film and story Beasts, for all its Beast-y-ness is not being told by its own protagonists, unless we alter it to the most metaphorical sense, more like “beast mode.” Instead, it is being told by Western Civilization. The strength of the story is contained in its unflinching depiction of truth, which includes some welcome criticism of WC.
If there is one feature that primitive peoples and the communists behind Disney movies share, it is that in storytelling, success aligns perfectly with honesty.
Nearly Unremarkable, My Review of “One Battle After Another”, By PTA
Solon’s sentiment (provided by Plutarch, circa 100 AD) is my entire review.
But to add one additional measure to Solon’s opinion, I would say, “The opening scene made me think, ‘I don’t want my kids to know I watched this garbage.’”
I share that not because I am going to fulfill my feeling, but because the only other movie that provokes me so was Babylon and its elephant opening.
PTA has obviously earned a hearing, but, unlike his others, this movie has too many flaws to be anything more than a “sign of the times”.
Agent K vs The Protagonist, A Joint Review of Men in Black and Tenet
I’m kinda loving my life right now. I recently rewatched Men in Black and just now finished Tenet. What do these two Science Fiction thrillers have in common, you ask? And is it true, Pete?
They both repeatedly make the point that the general mass of humanity doesn’t want to know how close the total mass of humanity is to annihilation at any given moment.
Who tells us this? And on whose authority?
Agent K and The Protagonist. Because they are the engines of hope.
Finally, are they right? Is it true? Is the world on the brink of annihilation and do people, generally, not want to know it?
Yes, with the caveat that “the brink of annihilation” can be taken to mean the whole enterprise OR simply one person’s death.
In other words, from the perspective set forth by Jesus’ Good Samaritan story, which includes the claim: “I am neighbor”, it doesn’t matter what happens to the world’s occupants once I am dead. What matters is that my ability to contribute to the world died. Here I mean to enlarge the defense of the concept of “not wanting to know” to include “because people, generally, also are not wanting to neighbor”.
Full-circle: Agent K and The Protagonist are certainly engines of hope for life, just as is the Good Samaritan. The key behavior among all three is proper action despite desperate circumstances.
The new question is, “Is there any reason to believe life extends beyond death?” And, if so, should we act according to that belief?
The CIA Asset Theory is Betarded!
This post is for those who can picture “Desh”. Do you know which “Desh” I mean, after only reading the title and opening line of this post? That’s right. I knew you did.
Now picture Jason Bourne. Got them? How about Clive Owen? And the asset turned Horse-guy from Rohan? Can you picture James Bond? How about Ethan Hunt? Jack Ryan? Jack Bauer?
Seriously, all you conspiracy theory wackos. You want me to believe that the CIA has fat assets dressed like DJ Kaled? Give me a break.
Before ‘Nam, the assets were exclusively white. After ‘Nam, they course-corrected to Desh as the archetype for obvious reasons. Hollywood over Talking Heads, any day.
Captain’s Log 