Get A Free Blog Review

Last summer an entrepreneur, friend, and sometimes blogger told me, “If you blog daily for six months, you should have 1000 followers at the end of those six months.”  Well, it’s been more than seven months of daily posts on Captain’s Log, and I’m sitting at 199.  As is the case with most facts, this amuses me.  Just the same, seeing that I am a part of the human race, and therefore partial to round numbers, I’m excited to amass follower number 200.  And I’m shameless when it comes to getting what I want.  So here’s what I’m offering: the blogger who follows me as number 200 will get a free review of their blog.  That’s right.  I’ll take some time between now and Monday to peruse your blog and then I’ll write the review for Monday’s post.  You can trust that I will be sure to say nice things as well as true things.  If you’re on the fence, think of it this way:  in return for a simple click of a mouse, you’ll get exposure to 199 readers who possibly aren’t aware of your stuff.  Heck, I might not be aware you exist.

This is a one time offer, and it is sure to go fast.  A little book called “The Magic of Thinking Big” mentions that “everyone you know craves praise”.  Well, I’m offering praise in exchange for bliss.  Whatdya say?

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Schwartz, David Joseph. The Magic of Thinking Big. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1959. Print.

Men

An odd group, certainly.  The worst men make ritual disembowelment seem like the only sensible thing to do, while the best men…well the best men inspire us to become better men.

Like hitch hikers just dropped at a truck stop, we look around and evaluate the passing scene.  Too often we are surrounded by mediocre men.

As constant evaluators, we sometimes forget to report our findings.  This is undesirable and unproductive.  We can forge a better life through regular highlighting of qualities the best men put into practice.

To begin, they are flawed.  More to the point, they recognize they are flawed, and they do not hide it.

Next, they possess a humility that my own awesomeness seems unlikely to ever achieve.

They are genuine, or perhaps authentic works better.  You cannot catch them off guard.  They are who they are, no apologies, and who they are is worth noting.

They are well-read.  Life has seasons, of that there is no doubt.  But these men and television divorced a long time ago.

Lastly, for today, they are ready and willing to help, if we’ll only just ask.  By help, we mean nothing more than them choosing to spend their limited time on us.

Let us not forget, then, that even great men need encouragement.  Let us not forget that these men still exist in this world, feel its pressures, and are pulled daily by the temptation to give up.  Let us not forget to say thank you when their life enhances ours.

David:  Thank you.

Review of A Fly Went By by Mike McClintock and Fritz Siebel

In the classic children’s book A Fly Went By, Mike McClintock harnesses the The Great War’s lesson and with perfect eloquence tells a story that frees children from fear.  With Fritz Siebel’s poignant illustrations as the glue holding a child’s gaze, McClintock’s repetitious prose etches its way into a young listener’s mind.  The story is simple:  a boy sees a fly go by, and asks him, “Why?”  We soon find out that the fly ran from the frog.  But the frog isn’t chasing the fly; he “ran from the cat, who ran from the dog.”  The boy continues his search for the thing behind all the running, and in perfect metaphor to life, it turns out that a man was the first to run, and he ran from sounds of unknown origin.  The chain reaction resulting in all the characters running in fear thus began.  We soon discover, though, that these sounds were caused by “a sheep with an old tin can.”

Like any toddler whose parents read this book to them, apparently I had the big finale memorized before I knew how to read.  It wasn’t until after college, though, that in reading the book to a nephew I realized the lesson that stamped itself on my person.  Have no fear.  “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  Be brave.  These sentiments and more are captured within McClintock’s fun little book.  It is a sure winner for parents who are looking for ways to teach their children a timeless truth–without the children knowing class is in session.  A life without fear is a life worth living and a gift worth giving.  Give children freedom from fear.  Share with them the story of a boy who “sat by the lake, and looked at the sky.”

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McClintock, Marshall, and Fritz Siebel. A Fly Went by. [New York]: Beginner, 1958. Print.

Hatu

The special operations warriors segregated themselves from the rest of the soldiers in the DFAC.  “Deefak” is how everyone referred to the dining facility–the chow hall.  After only a matter of days in-country, it became apparent to all how to distinguish those who worked inside “the fence” from those who worked outside “the fence”.  These men worked outside the fence.  They weren’t necessarily more dedicated, or smarter, but they had always wanted to do what they were doing and happened to be good at it.  And they were dedicated.  And they were smart.

On the ceiling of the DFAC hung flags.  There were flags of the different nations of the world that were in the coalition of forces, and flags of the 50 states.

Suddenly, after a break in the conversation, one of the men spoke up.

“Hatu.  Huh, where’s that country?  It sounds familiar, but I can’t seem to place it.  South America?  Africa?” he asked.

“Definitely Africa,” chimed in one of the men more respected for his book knowledge.

“I don’t know,” said another.

“It doesn’t have an African ring to it.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in South America,” challenged a third.

Without the internet at their fingertips, the hard men were left with all the nuances of communication to determine who to believe–conviction in the voice, the tone of voice, facial expressions, and look of the eyes.  Lastly, all waited to see if somebody would wager that they were correct.  No one was so bold.

At last, all eyes found themselves gazing at the flag, trying to look for clues.  The stocky mustached reader finally broke the silence.

“Hatu.  Ha.  Morons.  It’s not Hatu, it’s Utah.  You just read it from the back side of the flag.”

In all caps, it was an easy mistake we suppose, but one that silenced this proud group of men for some time.

The Amazing Temple Of The Holy Spirit

“Man, we knocked this lot out quick!” he thought to himself, looking up after the concluding push of the shovel.  Turning towards his co-worker, Pete caught the tail end of his favorite human activity to witness: unexpected sharp pain–albeit temporary–caused by extreme focus on less important things.  In other words, he just watched his buddy nearly knock himself out as he hit his head on a post that intense shoveling had hidden from sight.

As if physical touch could heal all wounds, Pete kept a constant hand on the man’s shoulder while laughing and asked, “Oh man.  Are you okay?  You really hit that thing hard.”

“Stop laughing man,” the third worker on the project admonished, shaking his head.

“It’s okay,” the injured man said, still not himself.  “It’s not my head, but my cheek.  My mouth was open and I bit my cheek really hard.  Ahh!..shit,” he let out, trying to maintain his man card.

His fingertips still in contact with the wounded man, Pete nearly doubled over with a guffaw that revealed itself to be only the engine of a freight train carrying mankind’s most precious cargo–uncontrollable giggling.

“Jesus Pete!” the third man again chimed in, attempting to add some reasonableness to the situation.

“You don’t…giggle…understand,” Pete managed.  “Watching that happen was like seeing a double rainbow.  I can’t let social graces ruin this moment!  Teehee.  He almost knocked himself out and bit his cheek.  Man…hahaha…I wish I could’ve seen him when his mouth opened.  It was probably all the way.  BwaHAAhahaha!  Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed that when people bite their tongue or cheek their mouths open to the extreme.  It’s like upon chomping down the body screams to the mouth, ‘OPEN!!  Open, open, open!  Disregard any other thoughts; just open to your widest.  Now!  And whatever you do, don’t bite down again until we can fully assess the damage.'”

After he had finished his defense, as one they asked, “What’s wrong with you?”

5 Reasons Why Sylvester Stallone Might Overtake Tom Cruise As Top Actor and 1 Thing TC Can Do To Ensure That Never Happens

1.  Rocky Balboa (Rocky 6)

2.  Rambo (Rambo 4)

3.  The Expendables

4.  The Expendables 2

5.  The Expendables 3  (This time he’s pulled together Antonio Banderas, Wesley Snipes, Mel Gibson and Harrison Ford.  And those are in addition to Arnold, Statham, Li, and Ivan Drago.  Oh, and Kelsey Grammar, too.)

For any of you who haven’t seen “The Expendables” movies, you’re missing out.  Missing out like I thought I was missing out in the late 80s and 90s.  I hated that I couldn’t go see rated R movies.  It seemed like every good movie was rated R and starred Stallone or Schwarzenegger.  When I finally checked those movies out, man was I disappointed.  Then Sly shocks the world with “Rocky Balboa” and “Rambo”, only to top them a few years later with “The Expendables”.  The movies are over the top in every way imaginable.  It’s a formula that can’t lose.  Lose the ego, bring the heart, and have a little fun while you’re at it.

Tom–don’t worry.  You’re still tops in my book.  The easiest way to ensure you never lose the spot is follow Stallone’s lead and give us what we want.  You know what I’m talking about TC.  That’s right.  It’s time for the sequel.  (Cue the Anthem.)

Relapses Were Inevitable

“Relapses were inevitable,” he told himself.  Everyone knew this, and he figured people would understand.  It was only his inner circle that knew he was an addict anyhow.

And as much as he wanted to point a finger at her for causing the relapse, he couldn’t blame her.  He wanted to.  But he wouldn’t.  She just wanted to have fun.  What did she know?

He also wanted to blame work.  Why did they have to give him two days off in a row?  And in the winter?  It’s like they had set him up for failure.

He had been clean for nine years.  Nine years.  Of course he missed it every single one of those days.  Technically, he still was on the wagon.  “Technically.  Ha!” he laughed.  He knew all about technically.  No, he had fallen off the wagon–no “technically” about it.

It did feel amazing though.  The rush.  He could sense his blood flowing throughout his body as if it was reporting constantly that the journey was amazing–all while surrounded by a crowd of people.  Wow.  Naturally, he hid his high from everyone, avoiding any unwanted judgement, though deep down he knew that they all saw a man who was trying to pretend like he wasn’t high.

His primary thought then turned to money.  Like any addiction, his had a price, and an expensive one at that.  “Yep, I know it’s shameful, but I’ll just ask my parents for the money.  Flat out.  No lying this time.  I’m just going to tell them what it’s for and if they love me, they’ll understand and help me,” he reasoned.

“Hello?” said the voice on the other end of the call.

“Mom, it’s me.”

“Are you alright?”

“Sure, yeah.  Well, no.  That’s what I’m calling about,” he said, forcing an undignified voice.

“What is it?  You know I hate when you call like this.”

“You know how I took H-, your granddaughter who misses you very much, to the mountains yesterday to go tubing?  Well, I saw people skiing and I couldn’t control myself.  I need money to ski.  The season’s nearly a quarter over, so it shouldn’t be too much, and of course you and dad are invited to come out and ski with me any time you want as well.  Ballpark figure, I think that only $2000 should cover me, equipment and all.”

He waited.

“Mom?  You there?” he asked, looking at the screen only to see the call had ended.  “I can’t believe she hung up.  She never did love me.  I guess I should’ve seen this coming.  I don’t know why I punish myself.  I should have just called the ol’ softy first anyhow.  Besides being a true believer, everyone knows the man can’t say no to anyone.”

“Dad.  Father.  How’s it going?  Are the Cubs still looking strong next season?  Say, I’ve got this favor to ask…”

Why A Log?

Happy New Years.  I updated the blog to include a new page explaining Captain’s Log’s intent a bit more.  Essentially, I derive untold amounts of pleasure from writing.  But there’s more to it than just that.  Below is what you’ll read if you were to click on the “Why A Log” button.

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In The Autobiography of Mark Twain, Twain quotes John Hay regarding the imperative to write an autobiography.  Hays says,

And he will tell the truth in spite of himself, for his facts and his fictions will work loyally together for the protection of the reader: each fact and each fiction will be a dab of paint, each will fall in its right place, and together they will paint his portrait; not the portrait he thinks they are painting, but his real portrait, the inside of him, the soul of him, his character (223).

Aircrews recognize that an aircraft doesn’t crash in compartments.  Free time in Iraq allowed me to see that flying is a tremendous–I’d say flawless–metaphor for life.  (You can check out the metaphor in the beginning of this post.)  In short, in life, as with flying, the only way we get where we want to go–the future–is with each other.

By following Captain’s Log, you’ll receive posts that take less than 2-minutes to read Monday through Friday.  They might be creative writings, satirical news stories, “How To” guides, letters I wish I wrote, humorous pieces, book/movie reviews or other types which are more difficult to classify.  The intent of all the posts is to reveal life.

Like Hay said above, the most important thing you’ll find, if you look closely, is me.  And in finding me, you might just find you.

The only way to get there is together.

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Twain, Mark, Harriet Elinor Smith, and Benjamin Griffin. Autobiography of Mark Twain. Vol. 1. Berkeley: University of California, 2010. Print.

Mars One Rejection Letter (well, email…technically)

If you’re on your computer, it’s best to set the tone with a little mood music:  open in new tab.

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Dear Mars One applicant,

Did you know US astronaut Clayton Anderson was rejected by NASA for its astronaut training program 15 times, yet in 2007 he boarded the Space Shuttle Atlantis for a trip to the International Space Station. He proved anything can happen and no door is ever completely closed.

You, and just over 200,000 other aspiring astronauts around the world, took a bold step in applying to be one of our first heroes to leave Earth permanently for a new life on another planet. We cannot thank you enough for your daring effort.

At this time, we’ve made the decision to reduce our applicant pool down to just over 1000 and your application has been declined. Let’s talk about what that means.

This is not the end of your dream.  We will be reopening the application process for you at a date to be determined in 2014. We want you to seriously consider re-applying. Each and every applicant, including yourself, who was not chosen in in this initial round, will have many other chances to re-enter the selection pool and try again. Don’t give up.

If you’re wondering why you’re applicant was put on hold, please review the selection criteria here. This is the criteria we used when considering your application.

Our goals are the same – human life on Mars and advancing humankind’s evolution as a multiplanetary species. Let’s continue our mission together!

Regards,

Mars One Selection Committee

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What do you say?  Should I keep applying?  I say…Yes!