Tagged: health

Leave It To The Motherland…

And now, from the country that ended the slave trade, a little article unafraid to put ignorant youngsters with great personalities in their place.

‘Clean food’ is a dangerous fad: The trendy nutritional advice that’s more likely to make you ill than healthy

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How To Avoid Capture (despite being an extremely eligible bachelor)

(If you’re short on time, skip to the bottom for numbered instructions.)

“So, guess what I just got?”

“I don’t know.  What?”

“Tailored shirts.  They’re great.  Gone are the yards of fabric that hide my svelte figure.”

“Yeah, I actually heard the radio talk about how women like men who wear tailored clothes the other day.  Though, I have to say it seems out of character that you’d do something like that.  Did you have them done at the store?  When did you even go shopping?”

“Oh, I didn’t get them done.  My friend was going to throw some away, so I said I’d take them.”

“So, they’re not tailored…to you?”

Instructions for How To Stay Single

Step 1 — CROSSFIT for life.

Step 2 — WALK through Costco like a kid in a candy store.

Step 3 —  ABSTAIN from soap.

Step 4 — TELL everyone you know about Steps 1- 3.