Sitting in class, he found himself amazed how the successful application of the words juxtapose, pejorative and convention made it abundantly clear these people were serious scholars.  Try as he might, over the course of a lifetime he never would discover non-academics offering such tidbits of wisdom as, “Ghetto simply meant neighborhood.  It only became pejorative in the 20th century.”  Or, “I was just thinking about the ridiculous modern conventions which require us to see differences where there aren’t any.”  Or, “More than simply two women having coffee together, the author juxtaposes timeless love with unsustainable passions of the flesh.”

These scholars, in their own right, were a group deserving marvel.  They believed they would boldly lead humanity to the Utopian future that always sits ripe for the picking, if people would only reach for it.

Returning from a brief break, he happened upon a group of these beings that had surrounded his chair with the never-ending favorite discussion topic of Americans–diet.  Quelling his nausea, he sat down and calmed himself with the reminder that the subject usually provided uncommonly hilarious statements, most often centering around rationalizing some form of a stunning lack of discipline.  These intellectuals didn’t disappoint.  Below is a record of the dialogue.

“Yeah, I tried doin’ the whole cook-everything-for-the-week-on-Sunday-to-try-to-eat-healthy-during-the-week thing.  It just didn’t work.  I ended up wasting a lot of the food.”

“Me too.  I always start the week off strong, but by Wednesday I get bored with the food.”

“I agree.  What I didn’t like was having to thaw things.”

Thawing.

More proof that the saying was true–“If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.”