Tagged: singlehood

How To Avoid Capture (despite being an extremely eligible bachelor)

(If you’re short on time, skip to the bottom for numbered instructions.)

“So, guess what I just got?”

“I don’t know.  What?”

“Tailored shirts.  They’re great.  Gone are the yards of fabric that hide my svelte figure.”

“Yeah, I actually heard the radio talk about how women like men who wear tailored clothes the other day.  Though, I have to say it seems out of character that you’d do something like that.  Did you have them done at the store?  When did you even go shopping?”

“Oh, I didn’t get them done.  My friend was going to throw some away, so I said I’d take them.”

“So, they’re not tailored…to you?”

Instructions for How To Stay Single

Step 1 — CROSSFIT for life.

Step 2 — WALK through Costco like a kid in a candy store.

Step 3 —  ABSTAIN from soap.

Step 4 — TELL everyone you know about Steps 1- 3.

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Review of Blue Valentine, the Once NC-17 Ryan Gosling movie

Yesterday’s post didn’t command any likes.  Instead, it garnered a lot of love.  Thank you.  The only way to get there is together.

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Even though I’ve seen how it’s done, I’m always amazed that a man with a full head of hair can be made to look like a man who is balding, Ryan Gosling is no exception.  Like Charlize Theron in Monster, here we have a very attractive celebrity turned bum.  Seriously fellas, if your lady-friend is a bit too enamored with the man, press play on Derek Cianfrance’s divorce exposé.

Not a new film, gossip clearly deters many would be viewers.  Even with foreknowledge that it is going to be an uncompromising look at a close-to-home trial, it’s impossible to prepare for Valentine’s authenticity.  And that’s what places it ahead of its preteen Judd Apatow et al. peers.

Spanning love’s spectrum, the movie passes through the always interesting topics of 1. single men and women’s respective concerns about love and marriage, 2. our undeniable wish for love-at-first-sight to make the jump from fairy tale land to factical life, and 3. a holy-shit-I-thought-that-was-just-something-that-happened-to-me disintegration of a relationship with ease.

And now a note to the MPAA:  get it together.  You’re not protecting anything but your jobs.  Drop the letter system.  Increase the descriptions.  And allow movie-makers the opportunity to tell stories that have some basis in this world, not distract them with PG-13 revenues.

Make no mistake, this movie is not pleasant.  Questions are not answered.  But if you laugh at the saying, “Ignorance is bliss”, if you consider yourself a seeker, or if you’re the mother of a son and sometimes ask, “Are you sure you couldn’t have worked things out?” watch the movie.   (It’s on Netflix.)