Whether the orange square icon that contains what initially appears like Chinese writing is a legitimate business or not, we’ll probably never know. Kidding. It is not legitimate. So don’t buy stuff from there, folks.

But there is something else that we can know about Temu just by the ads with which it blankets our devices.

Temu is not from Christendom.

Put another way, the humans or robots behind the scam are in the goat pile. Truth is not in them.

How do I know?

90% off sales, that’s how I know.

In Christendom, that’s what we call a lie. Nothing is 90% off. If the price you pay for the product actually is 90% off, the initial price is a marked-up lie. Another option is that the product may appear 90% off, but when completing the purchase, through taxes and shipping and other oddities, the price you end up paying isn’t 90% off the original price. Either way, only an unredeemed sinner would come up with such a scheme.

Here in Christendom, on the other hand, we have subtle understandings about sales. For example, everyone knows that everything at Kohls is at least 30% off, and so we just assume that they use non-Euclidian geometry when they write the Indo-Arabic numerals or what is the same. But nothing at Kohls is 90% off, because that would be a lie. And citizens of Christendom do not tolerate lies.

In short, try as you might, Temu—and it seems you are desperate and gagging for it—you are not fooling anyone. You ain’t from ‘round here. And we don’t trust strangers.