Tagged: kids

Slow To Anger

“Clap now H-!” he said, clapping his own hands in the process.

She began to clap and asked, “Why daddy, why?  What happened?”

“Our team did a good thing.  And you clap when that happens,” he explained.

“The purple team?” she asked.

“Yes, the purple team.  Remember, it’s like I said earlier.  Just watch the crowd.  When the people wearing purple clap, then you know it’s time to clap,” he reiterated, “but if you hear clapping and see people in red clapping–then don’t.  They are the enemy.”

“Clap when the purple people are clapping?” H- asked.

“That’s right.”

The father-daughter duo found themselves amidst an afternoon ballgame’s cheering crowd.  The team played in a city whose native residents prided themselves on their origins, and the nearly overwhelming amount of fans wearing red illustrated why.  Seated next to the pair was one such Cardinal fan who was unafraid to sport that day’s evil color.  And next to her sat a teenage daughter who was about to leave for college.  This was learned from the bits and pieces of their conversation that could be heard over the PA announcer, H-‘s incessant demand to know when there would be some shade and/or dessert, and the roar of the crowd.  This mother, then, was already nostalgic.

“How old is she-” she started to ask, addressing the man.  His face wore raised eyebrows and wide eyes which he hoped would express some mix of “Why are you asking me?’ and “She’s not deaf'”, so the woman turned to the little girl.  Re-starting, she asked, “How old are you?”

“Four,” H- answered politely.

“And what’s your name?”

“H-,” answered the girl who then had to clarify upon the mother needing help with the slightly uncommon name.  “What’s your name?” H- asked in kind.

“B-,” the woman answered.

“B-?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“What’s your last name?”  H- asked, never straying from the divinely ordained interrogation method.

“Watts,” B- answered.

As if used to having to repeat herself, or perhaps simply aware that it was a noisy environment, H- repeated herself calmy, saying, “I said, ‘What’s your last name?'”

B- chuckled at this unforeseen development while shrugging as she looked back at another similarly stationed mother who was seated one row up with her teen and was intently listening in on the interaction.  As B- answered H- again with “Watts”, her sunglasses did little to hide her sharpened determination to speak clearly.

It was only after the three of them–father, B-, and the mother from the row above–saw H-‘s perfect expression of almost-frustration as she was about to complete the question for the third time that the problem became clear to everyone but H-.

“H-,” the father asserted, now laughing and shaking his head.  (So focused was H- on learning B-‘s surname that this interrupting voice and calming touch on the shoulder could be seen to startle her.)  Nonetheless, the man continued, “She’s not asking ‘What?’  She’s saying her last name.  Her last name is the word ‘Watts’.  Watts.”

“Watts?” H- questioned.

“Yes.  Watts,” he answered.

“But we don’t clap when she claps, because she’s wearing red,” H- said.

“That’s right.  She’s the enemy,” he said, smiling proudly.

Caught!

“Heyyyy!” said H-, her head rotating up in order to look him in the eyes.  Slowly peering into his soul, she couldn’t stop her bottom lip from quivering.  Her face flushed red, and she loosed a single, crippling tear.  “Why did you do that?  Why did you take off my band-aid?”

“H-, come on now.  You saw that it was already starting to come off on its own.  How long had it been on for anyhow?  Two days?  You didn’t even have a bleeding oww-ee,” he said, meeting her eye-contact and rubbing her shoulder.  “Plus, I keep telling you that band-aids aren’t stickers-”

“Look!  It’s red.  Can I have a band-aid to put on it?” she asked, her tone revealing that she believed she had presented sound reasoning.

“No, H-, you cannot have a band-aid to cover the mark left by leaving the last band-aid on for too long,” he winced.  “Can we stop talking about band-aids for the rest of the night at least?  Please?” he asked, appealing to her well-developed sense of give-and-take.

“Okay.  But tomorrow morning I want another adult band-aid,” she asserted, her persistence approaching a level generally reserved for the possessed children in career-making horror classics.

“We’ll see.  For now, let’s get back to bed so we can continue reading about King Aaathuh,” he said.

****

“Daa-ddy!  Daa-ddy!” sounded his own personal alarm clock exactly twenty minutes early.

Climbing out of his bed, he opened her door and let her know that it wasn’t quite time to get up yet.

“Can I play quietly for a little bit?” she offered.

“Sure.  I just need twenty more minutes,” he said.

Only a minute passing until guilt overcame him, he reappeared in the living room, much to her surprise.

“I’m going to rest a little out here while you play,” he informed her.

“Rest a little?”

“Yeah, rest a little.  Here on the couch.  It’s not time to get up yet, but when my phone goes off, I will.  You can play though.”

“Okay.”

No sooner than he had closed his eyes, he heard her walking towards the bathroom.  Eyes still closed, he asked, “H-? Where are you going?”

The entire essence of her being still moving forward, her corporeal body came to a halt.  He opened his eyes just in time to see an empty face betray that all available energy was being redirected into deciding how best to play this one out.  No less sudden than when light vanquishes darkness, her widening eyes and resultant raised eyebrows signaled that she had made her decision.  Turning towards him, she slowly nodded her head in the vertical plane, raised her index finger, and casually informed him, “I’m just going to get one band-aid.”

How ‘Bout?

A strict father, though one who exercised a parent’s hypocritical initiative frequently, he never let her watch television.  And his list of approved-for-her movies included only three titles: Holiday Inn, White Christmas, and The Lego Movie.  She fell asleep during the first two, and, much to his chagrin, she lacked the context–not to mention the capacity for abstract thought–requisite to enjoy the third.

But every once in a while he would hear her say something that beckoned the playing of a song.  Not just a song, but a music video.  This evening was no different.

Instinctively these days, she knew to flip up the paper-thin seat cushion, so as to not ruin anything if she spilled, before assuming her oddly favorite eating position–one that had the left-half of her body sitting on the chair, while the right-half stood on the creaky hard-wood floor.

“You’re the greatest, daddy,” H- said, much to his delight.  “You’re the greatest, not mom.”

“Hey!” he said firmly, not wasting time on a crescendo, “that’s not true H-.  You’re mom’s the greatest, too.  I’m the greatest dad, and she’s the greatest mom.  Understand?”

“You’re the greatest dad and mom’s the greatest mom,” she recited.

“That reminds me of a song H-.  Have I ever played R. Kelly’s “World’s Greatest” for you?  The song he wrote about the boxer Muhammad Ali for the movie Ali?” he asked, making his way over to the laptop.

“World’s greatest?” she asked, in kind.

“Yeah.  I didn’t think so.  It’s a good one, just give me a sec to pull it up,” he said, trying to remember if the video contains anything a three year old shouldn’t see.  “Okay.  Here it is.”

“Is it the rainbow song?” she asked.

“No, it’s not the rainbow song,” he answered, chuckling as he tried to remember what past video had a rainbow in it.

Like most R. Kelley videos, there was a touch of a melodrama before the music began.  Finally the music started.  Memories and feeling flowed as Kelly sang, “I am a mountain.  I am a tall tree, oh-oh-oh, I am a swift wind, sweeping the country.”  Searching for any sign of understanding or enjoyment on her face, he couldn’t help but get caught up as the song built to the chorus.  Soon he found himself singing along.

“If anybody acks you who I am, just stand up tall, look ’em in the face and say-ay-ay-ay-ay-ee:  I’m that star up in the sky.  I’m that mountain peak up high.  Hey, I made it.  Mmm.  I’m the world’s greatest.”  

“How ’bout-” she began.

“I know, I know, you want the rainbow song,” he interrupted, breaking from the song.

“How ’bout you not sing it, so I can hear it?” she finished.

“Oh,” he said, laughing. “I suppose I can try.”

Still Timeless

Happy that she chose waffles over doughnuts, he found himself preparing the batter when she called to him from the couch.

“Daddy, come lay with me.  Don’t you want a little rest before breakfast?”

“H-, you know I’m cooking.  If you wanted to lay, you should’ve said something earlier.”

“You’re cooking?”

“Yep.  It’s almost done though,” he responded.

“Why you keep saying almost?” she asked.

“Do you know what “almost” means, H-?” he asked, genuinely curious about her response.

“Not done yet?” she answered, her voice betraying a modest level of hope.

“Sure.  It means not done yet.  But so would lots of words.  How close does “almost” mean?”

“Fifteen?” she guessed.

His smile grew as her answer reverberated in his head.

Proudly, then, he cooed to himself, “She’s learning.”

 

Mommies Are Not Alive

Her new nearly-florescent neon tennis shoes did little to distract him from feeling the sting of what she said next.

“Mommies are not alive,” she purported.

“Mommies are not alive?  I don’t think that’s right H-,” he returned.

“They aren’t alive.   Mommies are not alive,” she said.

“What is a mommy?” he asked, seeking context at the least.

“K- is my mommy,” she answered.

“Hmm.  So you know K- is your mommy, and that she’s alive, but you still maintain that mommies are not alive?”

“Yep, they’re not,” she said.

“Well,” he took a breath, “I hate to break it to you kid, but mommies are very much alive.  Your mommy is alive.  My mommy is alive.  They’re alive,” he lectured dryly.

“Mommies are not alive,” she continued, a perfect stubbornness showing through.  “Skeletons aren’t alive either.”

“Skeletons, eh?” he said.  “Oh!  I get it.  Not mommies, mummies!  Muh-muh mummies are not alive.  You’re trying to say that dead bodies wrapped in tape are not alive, right?  They’re called mummies, muh-meez, not mah-meez.”

“Yeah,” she said, her eyes betraying her brain’s increase in activity.  “Bodies wrapped in,” she paused, “in tape,” she finished, her nodding head and squinting eyes calling out his inaccuracy.  “Mommies-”

“Muh H-,” he corrected,  “muh-meez.  Mummies are not alive.”

“Mah-”

“Muh-”

‘Mah-”

“Muh-meez H-,” he said, feeling his patience about to buckle. “Forget it.  Can you say reanimated?”

“Re-ami-nated?” she asked.

“Re-ani-mated,” he repeated.

“Reanimated,” she said.

“Good.  Now say ‘mummies are reanimated, but mommies are alive.'”

“Mommies are reanimated, but mommies are alive.”

“Perfect.”

Mac ‘n’ Cheese’s Home Date

“How’s your mac’n’cheese H-?”

“It’s far away,” she responded matter of factly.

“Huh?  How’s your mac’n’cheese?”

“It’s far away.  It’s in Townsville,” she said, finally elaborating.

“Wait what?” he asked, shaking his head.  More curious than ever to discover where this would lead he again asked, “How’s your mac’n’cheese?”

“I told you daddy.  It’s far away.  It’s in Townsville.  On May 10th.  That’s my birthday,” she said, nodding her head while staring at the dish.  Searching eyes exposed her thoughts more than words ever could.  “How can I be more clear?  I think I’m being clear,” she thought.

“Your mac’n’cheese is far away, in Townsville, which is on May 10th?” he asked, attempting for clarification.

“Yep,” she answered, delighted by his demonstration of understanding.

“Oooookay then.”

High Class

“Do we have cauliflower?” she asked after he mentioned broccoli.

“Nope, just broccoli,” he answered.

“Why don’t we have cauliflower?” she persisted.

“Because I didn’t buy any,” he said, not giving in.

After finishing her broccoli, she watched as he slid the grilled chicken on to her plate.  Together now, they began to eat.

“Oh,” he interrupted, “did you want barbecue sauce?”

“Yes,” she said, “the new sauce.”

“I know, I know.  You didn’t like the hot stuff.”

“Hot stuff?”

“Nevermind.  Here’s your sauce.  And here’s my sauce.”

To the sound of silverware squishing into chicken, they returned to the task at hand.  Suddenly, she let out a shriek.

“What?” he asked, fearful that even the new sauce was too hot.

Spitting out the chicken, she replied, “I don’t like the roasted ones.  That one’s roasted.”

“Huh?”

“See daddy?  Roasted,” she said, pointing at the grill marks on the chicken.

“Oh.  You don’t like the burnt part.  Excuse me, the roasted part.  Okay, you don’t have to eat it,” he allowed.  “High class H-, you’re high class,” he thought, pride swelling.

Sadness

The buzzer always startled him.  This time was no different.  Alone and lost in thought, he sat with his fingers resting lightly on the home row when it sounded.

“Shit that’s loud,” he cursed, hoping to keep his man card after the fright.

The words not coming, he decided to go ahead and do now what had to be done at some point or another.  The hardwood floor reminded him that he had been standing all day; the carpet, that he needed to vacuum.    Pulling open the dryer, he hoped no socks would fall into the below washer as he removed the ball of clothes.

Back in the living room, he pulled his work clothes out first.  Once folded, he laid them on the couch.  Looking into the hamper, he saw her clothes.

At first he chuckled, never ceasing to be amazed by the sight of how small they are.  Then he laughed at the memory of how excited she gets when putting them on herself.

Hating that he was laughing at memories, he didn’t laugh again for a while.

The Small Things

“Can you turn off the car daddy?” she asked.

“Oh.  Yes I can.  Thanks for asking,” he responded.  “Looking to get into the house, eh?  Sorry, I just was enjoying the song.  Here we go.”

Racing to the door, she called out her victory upon touching the glass.  He proceeded towards her, fanning out the three keys necessary to enter the house.

“Daddy, can you turn on the light?”

“You can do it H-.  You’ve done it for over a year now.  Just reach for it.”

They each began to remove their jackets and begin their respective rituals.  Stopping his, he realized he hadn’t hugged her yet today.

“H-,” he called, squatting down low, “what haven’t we done today?”

Only just a little, she bent her knees, unsure if mirroring him was necessary.  Then it hit her.

“Hugged!”

Walking briskly towards him, her head mechanically assumed the cocked-right position as she opened her arms.  They embraced.  He stood, lifting her into the air.  She let her legs hang.

Upon putting her down, she immediately beckoned, “Pick me up daddy!”  He complied.  This time, she was intent on staying and said so.

He hadn’t seen her for days, and wanted to be sure she knew the meaning of a hug.  Taking a moment to get the lesson right in his head, that a hug is a way to say “I love you” without words, he was interrupted by her.

Pointing towards the counter, she said, “My phone!”

Stump The Dummy

She was off in her corner, by her dollhouse and playing some such game of make believe.  He figured there was a monster involved.  There was always a monster.

“Ahhhh!  A monster!” she said, running to where he was in the kitchen.  “A monster daddy!  Help!  Help Strawberry Shortcake and Lemon Meringue!  Help daddy!”

“You know I’m cooking H-.  Can I help later?” he asked her.

“Okay,” she said, her shoulders slumping.  “Can I look?  Can I see what you’re cooking?”

“Sure- watch it, watch it!  You’ll knock the utensil off the counter if you’re not careful,” he warned.

“Me tensil?” she asked.

“No, utensil,” he replied.

“Me tensil?” she pressed harder.

“Yoo-tensil,” he answered in kind.

“Me tensil?” she said with uncommon determination.

“No.  Yoo-ten,” he stopped.

“Yoo-,” he stopped again.

“Yoo-,” he was embarrased.

“The spoon.”

Victory at last.