One Teeny, Tiny Flaw
I remember catching my mom in a bookstore aisle, kind of tucked away once. The book she was reading was self-help for “control freaks”. Understand, then, that she was the control freak in our family, and my sense of the encounter was that she was embarrassed that her son had seen that maybe she didn’t want to be.
I barely need to repeat the following, but for the unfaithful readers, please accept without question that my wife isn’t in love with yours truly anymore.
Books actually play a pivotal role in the drama, albeit in an unpredictable way. One of her main complaints to me, about my way of life, is that all my book reading does not lead to more money.
For my part, one of my main “asks” of her is that she stop reading the latest Christian bestselling “health and wealth” sermon transcripts masquerading as books. And truthfully, I don’t care that she reads them, but I would like her to read, at least some of the time, real books—not “The Secret” part 73. I mean even pulp fiction or Louis L’Amour or whatever is flying off the grocery store shelves these days.
This last time home, I saw an unfamiliar book stacked upon her bible called something like, “How to Live With A Manipulative Husband”.
Do you see the problem, folks? It’s easy to miss, so I understand if you don’t.
As for me, I am seriously considering putting out a best seller for us husbands. What do you say?
The title will be, “How to Smarten Up Your Wife AND Get Her to Stop Buying Crap.” Or maybe, “How to Make Your Wife Understand That She Doesn’t Need Makeup and Wigs Just Because All Other Women Wear Them.”
This might need to be a series, actually.
Another could be, “How to Live with a Woman Who, as It Turns Out, Is an Immature Child Who Lacks the Ability to Reason.”
Then there could be one on, “When Your Wife Married You, But Listens to Every Other Human Being Who Has Ever Uttered Speech Sounds Instead.”
The capstone, and I mean Fifty Shades of Grey success, will, of course, be, “How to Actually Get Your Wife to Stop Complaining and Be Happy.”
Men of the blogosphere, I’ve got you pegged as less than 10% of my readership. But what say you? Would you pay to unlock these secrets?
Captain’s Log 
Not really the place for me to give marriage advice. Also, I unfortunately happen to be in the 90% category of your readership instead of the coveted 10% from whom you desired said advice. However, these facts notwithstanding, here goes…
Being a marriage vet of 25-years, it sounds to me like you hit one of those inevitable marital brick walls that like to scatter themselves around and cause major rifts every so often. Generally, these brick walls give the couple 3 choices:
1. You both figure out a way to break down the wall together in a lengthy and tedious manner, thus clearing the way for you to continue down the marriage path together.
2. Leave the wall right where it is and continue staring at it or banging your heads against it in frustration.
3. Turn away from each other and go off on your own respective paths, which in all likelihood will lead you to yet another brick wall in the future, just with a different person.
I wish I had better news for you. For instance, wouldn’t it be nice to have the option to just wave a magic wand and make the wall disappear? Make peace with whichever option you choose. None of them are easy, as I am sure you are already aware.
I wish you and your wife the best, no matter the outcome. Good luck! Always love to read your posts!
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If you see a reader in Iceland, that would be me. On vacation with my own brick wall buddy this week! Back to Italy again in a few days. Maybe you guys also just need a nice vacation away from the daily grind for a bit. Who knows?
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Enjoy the vacation. I do see Iceland now. I can never forget Mighty Ducks’ Coach Bombay’s, “Greenland is ice; Iceland is nice.” Is it true??
Thanks for the advice. Though I don’t know that I was even curious about the fix. I’m definitely not rosy-eyed about grass being greener somewhere. This is 2–of-2 for me and I’d like to believe that I have learned that divorce is a terrible way to live.
Some nuts, imho, are just uncrackable. Time will tell. It’s definitely depressing, but no more so than any difficulty or negative aspect of life. Thanks for commenting and reading.
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Let’s just leave my opinions about Iceland at this: If you need a vacation that isn’t filled with nonstop whipping wind, sideways rain, and near-freezing temps all while being on the cusp of the month of June, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! 😆
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