My Depressing Fantasy

I’ve been following my own advice and spending quite a bit of time watching fantasy movies and reading fantasy books. I should clarify here that I mean romance more than fantasy. All the normal bounds of the time space universe apply. Most recently, I watched the new Costner entry, “Let Him Go.”

These films and books fulfill their purpose just fine. However, as I fancy myself a serious blogger/writer type who could compete with those who perform on the world stage—if only I had the ambition—I often challenge myself to come up with my own take on the genre. What is my fantasy? I don’t mean, “What do I think would sell?” Or, “What do I perceive other people dream about?” No, I mean that I challenge myself to add my own fuel to the warm “good guys win” feeling that I enjoy as I see evil mother-effers reap it and good men be rewarded with beautiful, virtuous women.

Here’s the gospel truth. My fantasy centers on the children I’ve been charged by god with raising to become good men and good women.

The fiction begins with an argument. My character espouses wisdom, in a much too passionate volume. There may even be a hint of what psychologists call “contempt”. My children consistently reply with overly self-righteous bull honkey. Soon after, I kick them out of my house for crossing the line. (I haven’t resolved in which manner they cross it, whether they mindlessly repeat the slander of George Washington, Jesus, me, or one of my military buddies. But I imagine that they say something absolutely retarded and untrue and so they’ve got to go.)

Next, I imagine I resign completely from life. I become a veritable hermit.

Then the world burns.

As for me, I nimbly and deftly survive and do so in style. Eventually, others hear of an older man (they say he was a pilot, back before the Green Skies law) always staying one step ahead of the new troubles brought about by stupid young people. The Captain is suddenly whispered as if the title itself means hope.

Did you hear the latest about The Captain?

I heard The Captain has been planning something big for some time now. He’s got to be getting close.

All the while, in the hands of my children, the world burns.

But then the careful reader and viewer begin to notice new expressions on the faces of The Captain’s, by now, adult children—themselves leaders of the supposed revolution. The faces betray, finally, a wise hesitation. One might almost say the progeny appear, for the first time in their life, uncertain.

Skip to the end, and readers all rejoice as I, The Captain, am unable to outpace my children who are on their way to warn me—themselves being only one-step ahead of their pals who are coming to kill me. The reunion, made all the more compelling by the contrast between painfully slow scenes of family reconciliation and scenes of unabated, furious chase by the enemies, is only long enough for one phrase to pass.

“Father, you were right.”

Having uttered these noble words, they turn to find our mutual enemies have caught up to us. Despite our unified slaying of a significant number of them, they kill us all, saying, “Remember, orders are to kill The Captain and all of his diseased blood!”

****

Yup. It’s not family happiness that I dream about—that seems utterly hopeless in our current world. Instead, I long for vindication from the mouths of my children before I die.

3 comments

  1. Harolene Leguizamon

    That’s a wonderful thought and one I agree with. My dad used to quote the scripture, “what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?” He would say to us, his three children, that to him that was us… if we didn’t come to the knowledge of the truth of Jesus and salvation and don’t live good lives then he had not gained anything for himself. You made me think of him, and that scripture interpretation of his own making 😇🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unbridled

    I don’t know why I laughed through these writings. Not because I was laughing at you but with you. Adult children can be so ridiculous at times and all we want to do is teach them the ways of good and virtue and they want to do the opposite. So annoying when all we want is for them to understand we want the very best for them. And we pray that when it’s all said and done they realise we weren’t crazy after all but right about everything. Haha. Best of luck with you and yours!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. noelleg44

    Hang in there, Captain and imagine a different ending! I hope every parent prays that their children grow up to be good, decent adults. I personally believe it’s a crap shoot but more often than not, they turn out OK. We had some hard work with one of ours, but he’s a good man now!

    Liked by 1 person

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