Tagged: Money

They Earn More Than You And They Don’t Even Know What LinkedIn Is

The restaurant doors might as well have been ripped off the hinges if they were pulled open at all.  The culprits were four men who had just finished a long day of hard work.  They were hungry and ready to sit down.  One of them, the newbie, knew he was under the microscope.  The other three would be watching his every move.  They would be silently analyzing his table manners, how he addressed the server, what meal he chose, and most importantly what beverage.  Beyond the age of caring about such things, our man was just looking to make people laugh.  The workday was over; everyone still had all their fingers and toes.  He couldn’t help but want to promote a light mood.

Asking the server to keep the chips and salsa coming, he sarcastically inquired of the men, “So, hey.  On your LinkedIn profiles, do you put your position or just ‘roughneck’?”

The driller, one might say leader of the bunch, had the most steely, unflinching eye-contact one could imagine, and after letting it linger long enough to determine the question was not rhetorical, he asked, “What?”

“You know.  On your LinkedIn profile.  Do you put ‘driller’ or the more generic ‘roughneck’?” the newbie pressed, unwilling to lose the staring contest.

“Linked-what?”

“No way.  What about you two?  It’s not surprising that this neanderthal doesn’t keep his LinkedIn profile updated, but surely you two do,” he continued, purposefully.

“Pete, what are you saying?  Linked…in?”

“Oh my god,” Pete said, unable to not connect the dots.  With an unabashed enthusiasm, he continued, “On top of you guys doing the most impressive work I’ve ever seen, you’re now going to tell me that you don’t even know what LinkedIn is?”  He almost let the “L” word slip out, but the men’s unrelenting eye contact allowed his rational side to win that battle quickly.  “And that’s why I like you guys so much.  You don’t even know what LinkedIn is.  You’re so pure and good.  LinkedIn is like facebook for people with office jobs.  It’s ridiculous.  And you just helped prove my theory.  I only use it to publish my blog posts in the hopes of getting someone to read what I write.  But I’d rather have never heard of it–like you guys.  Nice work.”

“You done?  The server’s waiting on you to order.”

“Oh.  Apologies.  I’ll do the chimichanga.”

“And to drink?”

“Do you have root beer?”

Sounds of Life

His fingers slid along the front side of the envelope.  He recognized the sender as one capable of bearing no news or bad news.  The fear of bad news might be why he heard his fingers as they slid, a sort of low hiss.  He was near his breaking point.  His body was on full alert.  Finding a slight opening near the seal, he heard the envelope tear as he wondered why anyone would ever buy a letter opener.  He unfolded the pages, hyper-extending the crease with a pop.  Next, the sound of paper against paper filled his ears as his left hand unveiled the second page.

Then, there was no sound.

In that moment, in that void, he did what any good soul does when receiving bad news.  He used the limitless silence to escape.  He filled the silence with questions, with doubts, with denial.  That led to him filling the silence with Lawrence Fishburne’s voice.  “You have to let it all go Neo.  Fear.  Doubt.  Disss-Bee-lief.”  Finally, he filled the void with a smile.  Because the truth was–the truth was that from rock bottom there is only one way out.  Up.

Then, as always, laughter broke the silence.

The Future

I know I don’t want to fly anymore.  I try and I try to explain to well-intended people that flying in the Air Force was about serving my country in the best manner I could.  And Top Gun.  Nothing more.  It’s over.  I’d like to move on.

The office job was okay, but there wasn’t enough work.  In the Air Force–where you can’t get fired–taking it easy every once in a while (or as much as possible in my case) was nice and stress free.  In a civilian job, it torturous to not have enough to do.  And it kills my soul to pretend to be busy.  I can’t do it.  And I can’t do work whose value eludes me.

****

There are scores and score of books written about working smarter, not harder.  Management guru Peter Drucker says something to the effect of “you can meet or you can work.”  People laud the man during meetings.  WTF, over?

****

I know I can’t do salaried work.  It’s an abuse of the human spirit.

I love this blog, but I can’t see myself doing it for pay.  It’s mine right now.  Mine.  Money would change that.

****

Today, at work,  a grown-ass woman said to me, “You guys threw away my chocolate bar.  I just went to Whole Foods and paid $6 for an organic chocolate bar.”  She expected me to give her $6.  I couldn’t stop thinking, “You spent $6 on a candy bar?  You could get an entire pizza for $6.  What moron would spend $6 on a chocolate bar and then leave it in the door of her car on top of a bunch of shit?”  I wouldn’t, and I didn’t give her the money.  It’s called an accident.  I’d go further and call it a missed life lesson.  Lucky for her, the proverb “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” is still in effect.  The cashiers gave her the money.  Anything to please the customer.  What is wrong with the world?

****

Most of my friends and family believe that each of us has a passion and that should be our work.  My passion is fun.  And my definition of work is quite the opposite of fun.  Where should I work?  Can anyone tell me how a guy like me should acquire money?

So what should I be doing?  Where should I work?

Challenge!!

On this the 27th day of December, in the year 2013, I hereby challenge anyone worthy enough to accept.  The object: spend money faster than me.  That’s right.  All you have to do is demonstrate to me that you can keep money in your possession for less time than me, and you win.

Think this sounds easy?  Think again.  I’ve been known to release dollars back into the wild faster than teens develop excuses.

Oh, and let’s not forget spending money before I even have it.  Consider the upcoming tax refund?  Yep, already spent.

So what do you say?  Think you have what it takes?

I know some of you have the competitive spirit.  If you’re worried about losing, don’t be.  This is the only competition where the loser also wins.  I know, I know.  You’re nervous.  Why?  I’ve seen how you spend.  You may be able to beat me.  There’s only one way to find out.

Life Without Money

No, he didn’t mean to conjure up some imagination-land inspired by John Lennon.  He simply meant to capture some observations about life.  Sometimes he had lots of money, and sometimes he had just enough money.  He figured this made him similar to other people.

Of late, he found himself in the “just enough money” category.

Maybe it was just him, but when he had lots of money his problem was perfection.  In both situations he spent all that he had, but when the dollar amounts were great, he took time away from some things he now values tremendously to find “the perfect” item.  First, the perfect piano (really, it is amazing).  Second, the perfect guns.  Then there was the baseball phase.  He bought the authentic Babe Ruth replica mitt.  He found the greatest soft-toss machine, and accompanied it with an on-the-field hitting net the MLB itself uses in spring training.  And just before the money ran out he bought the perfect motorcycles.  One black-and-chrome American classic, and one dirt-cheap faux sport-bike.  Not to mention the top of the line protective gear.

Had he stayed in that position, his next plan to relieve himself of money was race-car driving lessons.  Yep, it was going to be great.  Oh, and not that he was the boastful type, but this was on top of saving for college, having a nice home etc.  But today?  Today, he doesn’t plan out his expenditures.  He pays for what needs to be payed for.  And there’s something more.  It’s difficult to describe, but for him there is a very tangible, attractive quality to the dream of returning to wealth.  It’s almost as if he finds the dream of wealth more gratifying than the possession of wealth.   There are times when he really, really, really hopes to have lots of money again.  Sadly, though, he knows that when he does, the dream will end.

LinkedIn All-Stars Discover Bosses Furious

Earlier this year LinkedIn celebrated its tenth anniversary.  With ten years under its belt, the Silicon Valley tech giant has finally fallen prey to researchers.  The findings aren’t pretty.  Among a newly released 500-page report there are some notable discoveries:

  • 63% of LinkedIn Users report spending time each day to see if the infinite scroll really is infinite.
    • Of those users, 25% admit feeling “genuinely disappointed” when, upon reaching the end, they read “There are no more updates at this time” instead of congratulations for beating the game.
  • 84% of Users have achieved All-Star Profile Strength.
    • Of those Users, 100% believe they are more likely to receive a promotion within the next 6 months because of it.
      • Of those Users, zero worked in companies whose promotion decisions factored in their employee’s LinkedIn Profile Strength.

And most damning,

  • After not having the heart to crush their employee’s hopes and dreams and tell them, “No, browsing LinkedIn is not what I’m paying you to do,” 100% of Bosses spend at least 10-minutes wishing for the “good ol’ days” when employees earned their pay.

Finally, the researchers noted first, that despite these findings, employees generally felt that they were more productive because of LinkedIn and second, that more research should be done to validate their findings.

Blog. How Else Will You Learn What You Like?

Hi there!  My name is Pete Peterson.  I’m a 22 year old college dropout and have been blogging for a week now.  I’m so excited because I already have 15 followers, and none of them are my family or previous friends.  How cool is that?

I guess I should have known that people would follow my blog.  I write well and my posts are funny, smart, clever, dramatic, creative, and most importantly they display–albeit sometimes unconsciously–my desire to make money blogging.

I guess this last trait is really the one that has captured most of my follower’s attention.  I never would have believed how many people know how to make money blogging.  The best part is that they are very helpful.  They’re willing to almost give away the secret.  I know better though, than to expect anyone to give away their golden goose.  It does make sense, then, that they would require a nominal fee to learn the really good stuff.  I’m happy to pay it because I really do want to make money blogging.

We’re all the same, my followers and I.  That’s how I learned that I love to travel.  All of my willing-to-teach-others-how-to-make-money-blogging followers love to travel.  Truthfully, I have never left the home town I grew up in, which is just outside Big City, USA.  Just the same, I figure if all my followers love to travel, I must love to travel.

I can imagine it now.  Endless beaches against a backdrop of snowcapped mountains.  Large trees all around with even larger leaves.  There’s probably fit young women at these locations as well.  With no crummy 9-5 job to worry about, I could finally start wearing my 80s style tank tops every day, or maybe I’d wear no shirt at all.  I’d probably choose to wear sunglasses most of the time, even if it didn’t make sense.  I think I’d also begin to post pictures of myself too.  I’d make sure to always have water in the background somewhere.  I think that would be classy.  Yep, I’m going to love traveling.

It’s exciting, I’ll tell you that.  It’s so exciting, in fact, that I’d like to invite you to follow my blog.  Do you love to travel?  Do you know how to make money blogging?  Then follow me!  The only way to get there is together.