American Wives Are Humanity’s Low Pressure Systems. What Happens If Equilibrium Is Withheld?
If I was teaching meteorology to pilots, then my first lesson would include a tub of water, with a movable divider holding an amount of water at bay from filling the tub entirely. (Picture a tub half full, with an actual divider keeping the water to the left half. The right half is dry.)
I would then ask, “If we define high pressure as where the water is, then how would we label the area where the water isn’t?”
The motivated and slightly piqued students would answer, “Low pressure.”
“Good,” I would rejoin.
Then I would call the room’s attention to the tub and, with comedic flare, withdraw the divider. All would see the high pressure water rush towards the area of previously low pressure, crashing against the walls before quickly calming to a standstill.
“If you can admit that that just happened, and trust that it isn’t limited to the apparent lateral movement as this tub seemed to indicate, but vertical as well (which, if you consider what you witnessed fully, then you will be forced to conclude that water did move in the available three dimensions entirely), then you can understand every other concept of meteorology—and make sound weather calls throughout your life as a pilot.”
The high pressure seeks balance. It must find the balance it seeks. This is meteorology.
What about relationships?
“Feeling low” is probably the simplest description of “depression” (itself still in the same semantic domain as “low”). We all have experience, whether first or second-hand, with people feeling low.
What happens if the “high pressure” doesn’t rush in?
More often than not, people who demonstrate the need for help receive help. But what happens if they do not receive it?
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I refuse to believe that life on earth is about high pressure rushing to lows. I just refuse. It especially bothers me when the lows self-declare. Contrary to the smut pushed by “mental health crisis” hypsters, there are objective markers that life is not only “okay”, but that life is so good that you have actually not one damn thing to complain about.
I feel like I can distinguish this refusal from the “Am I my brother’s keeper?” domain. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe anyone riding high owes their entire existence to coming down. “Misery loves company” is my counter. “Don’t bring me down”. “Look at the lilies of the goddamned field.”
Overall, agreed…with one “however.”
Just remember that everything that is done outside the home gets rewarded: regular monetary reimbursement, vacation days, sick leave, raises, bonuses, rewards earned, praise from bosses, banter with colleagues, accomplishing things that look stellar on a resume, etc. So, even if one doesn’t actually enjoy their job, they are minimally receiving some good reasons to “keep on keeping on.”
Now, imagine that you had to do all that work…without ANY of those rewards listed above. That it was just an expectation that you show up and do your job, day in and day out, and even expected to pull overtime regularly, with zero appreciation, recognition, sick time, vacation time, or pay. Any human might begin to feel a bit low after a few years of that.
That’s about the closest I can get to explaining how it often feels to be a SAHM.
With one big tweak, mothers might not feel so low. They don’t (typically) need much. All they need is to feel like their work means something, like it has value. THEY themselves are already fully aware of this fact – but many times, others who have never had to experience accomplishing this important job every day, 24/7/365, can easily be clueless as to how soul-sucking it can actually be. The best way to keep equilibrium in a case like this is very simple: the woman’s partner could take notice of her labor, truly value the work she does, and simply tell her how much she is appreciated…on repeat.
When people feel that they are valued and that what they do matters, it is much easier to maintain equilibrium.
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Fair points, but I wasn’t referring to SAHW. Ha. Just diffusing the attention to “my wife” into a larger group of wealthy wives…
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Oops! Well, at least you can tell this is an issue I am passionate about. 😅
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Loved the metaphor!
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Love the metaphor!
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