Trump has this thing in the bag and has had it in the bag since 2020. Naturally, the question follows, “How do we reconcile the headlines with this fact?” Answer: His base, his fans eat worry like it’s Wheaties. Trump’s loyalists are like America’s Mom. All worry—no peace. They always have been. They always will be. So no, there will never be “Trump has 10pt Lead in Every Single Swing State, and 30pt Lead in Wyoming!!” doozies on any legacy or otherwise sites.

Instead, the newspaper men and algorithms will continue to “sell” (hear: feed) headlines that there is a close race—maybe the closest ever!!—which necessarily implies both that Trump may lose (eek!!) and that it will be simpler for the Left to cheat (double eek!!!).

And why? Because they are in the business of selling stories.

Surely all of us are actually kinda tired of Trump. Maybe it would have been better if he won in 2020, by any means, just so it would’ve been only 8 years of Trump. Now we’re stuck with 12. Oh well.

But can you imagine what will sell newspapers/clicks when Trump is gone? Like, engage in a thought experiment with me for a moment. What is more, or at least as equally, outrageous than airing a nation’s dirty laundry during a televised, ahem, “presidential” debate.

I mean, I met a man at a Black Church in Denver back in 2016ish. He was displaced to Denver from the backwoods, and backwards, state of Louisiana during Katrina. He freely told me that he killed a goose that he had grabbed from the park. He said, “Peedah, everyone was so shocked and upset when they saw me do it.” Then he knowingly smiled and added, “But you can bet they came a-knockin’ when they smelled me cookin’ ‘im up!”

Now would this man’s story have made national news? Absolutely not. And why not? Because it’s pitiful. (He also shared that his sister drove off without him because she chose to fill her vehicle with “stuff” instead of her brother.)

But the idea that immigrants, illegal at that, are doing the same? That is downright shocking. It is appalling. It is sub-human and brings all manner of uncomfortable truths to the surface (America is different and better than BIPOC countries). No one laughs at the idea like I did with my new friend. So the newspaper men run it. Trump runs it. And we all (you all—I’m no sucker) eat it up. In a sense, Trump is like the EL James of American News—our guilty pleasure. What can follow him? Maybe we should ask, What followed 50 Shades?” Nothing.

Or Trump.

Mom’s read BDSM at the park on their Nooks and Kindle’s. Now everyone reads Trump on every screen, all day long.

What comes next? Something just as laughable, I suspect.