The following is the short, thunderous homily I just texted my wife who is constantly perplexed by my actions. She’s my second wife. She is anxious about some stupid imaginary drama regarding her son and his dad who lives in a different country. This is for posterity.

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If you want to attack me about H- and her mom etc, the strongest way to attack is to say, “You paid money NOT to see H-. How stupid are you, Pete?!”

And my response is, “Do you see it then? Do you finally understand? Life is, at times, unbelievably horrible. How does it make sense to be able to pay money to ‘not’ get/buy something, like time with your own child?

“I, your husband, would rather pay money to not see H- (which is insane) than pay money to (maybe) see H-, which is evil. I am not paying people to be my friend. I am not paying you to be my wife. I am not paying children to be my children. Humans are not for sale. Humans are not slaves. That is the outer darkness. That is my ex wife’s world. And the lawyers. And the government. It is not my world.”