As I’ve mentioned, these guys bug me so much because they often are very similar to me in other ways—and yet the earth is a sphere.

****

You: “Yeah, that’s bullshyat. Let’s back up a little bit. Can I ask you a simple question?”

(As most of the time all they do is interrupt and spew their dump truck evidence, with this move you’ll have them irresistibly tee’d up.)

FEL: “Sure.”

You: “Have you ever looked through a telescope at the night sky?”

(Crushing. On the off chance they have, simply continue with…)

You: “Would you mind taking the time to teach me how to distinguish planets from stars the next clear night? I don’t have a telescope, but surely you do. I am available any night.”