On One Woman and One Other Thought

I sought work at the gentlemen’s club, in part, because I had never worked with women. Right after college it was Air Force pilot training (mostly men), followed by the last male-only Air Force flying squadron (must have balls), then several odd professions to include a car wash (mostly fellas) and the oil fields (oil rigs being the last bastion of actual men on the LORD’s good earth).

Despite, or in spite of, being married for six years, I had never really been around women, nor really even desired to be around them. It’s been three years since big-P-I-M-P-in and in a most unexpected change, these days I often seem to find myself around only women. Don’t get the idea that I am one of those creepy, sinewy older guys we all know at work who aren’t quite gay, but somehow are only able to be friends with women. For good or bad, that’s not me. With me, the situation is manifest in other ways.

For example, my beloved toastmaster’s club is gaining women by the droves. Six years ago it was the only place I knew of which had about a 50/50 make-up. But recently I went to a off-day meeting where the ratio was more like 80/20. The official roster has it 60/40–or 31/19 to be more precise. Where have all the cowboys gone?

Then there’s the last time I was asked to teach at church. Naturally, each Sunday I notice that most of the regulars are of the fairer sex, but that did little to diminish my astonishment as I was totally unprepared to speak to a group of two men and thirty black women. In answer to my reactionary inquiry, my pastor said, “Expect more like 80/20 in the future,” but that, “Yes, it’s more women than men.” Me, teaching women? Ha. What do I know?

Here’s what I know. After much deliberation on the matter and many years in school, I’m calling it quits on trying to learn about women. To me, from what I’ve seen and from what I believe I have been purposefully shown, that goal would be no different than trying to learn about the ocean. I don’t mean learning about the elements of one of Earth’s oceans that we can observe with our five senses. I mean that, for me, women as a group are like the ocean that is eternally beyond the ocean that we presently perceive. What’s more, even if I could learn about women, not one reason comes to mind as to why I’d want to.

Instead, I’m going to focus on learning about one woman. That’s right. My mind is resolved. One of you lucky women will soon gain a suitor. Get excited. And since I’ve recently also concluded that shame is probably the deepest sensation felt during the acquisition of knowledge, I’m pretty sure that my upcoming education will be exceedingly difficult for my prideful self.

As far as the other thought, I lost it somewhere by the ocean part. It’ll return some other day, I guess.

I will give you this, though. Just now as I walked by the dumpster in the darkest hours before the dawn, I saw the regular raccoon but also two smallish ones. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a raccoon family before. What about you?



  1. noelleg44

    Ah, Pete, we women are taking over the world! No, not really, but I am glad you are thinking about having a relationship with a woman again – that’s good news! You’re moving on! On another subject, where are you heading now that your religious studies period is over?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pete Deakon

      Morning Brother Dave,

      There are some things which I cannot be moved on. This is not one of them. I guess the reason I choose to write “black” is because one part of my overall evangelism strategy is to be sure to always acknowledge and in fact point out that we all belong to different cultures. From this I am able to head to Israelite history, or Paul’s “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

      But the minute someone cries out “I take offense!” then I’ll drop the cultural designation.

      In my recent conversational experiences with a Mohammedan, I have noticed that they are very slippery when it comes to “we are the same, you and I.” Nothing could be further from the truth. So I’m willing to err on the side of drawing too many distinctions than too few. John comes to mind a lot these days with his simple, “For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.”

      Lastly, I have spoke in front of my culture, even to powerful folks in my culture, and it had no comparison to speaking to women from another culture. Luckily, the Holy Spirit was in full presence and they listened with as much grace as I needed. Thanks for commenting. I hope all is well on your end and trust as much.



  2. She's Lost in the Subway

    As women communicate with both sides of our brain, having twenty times more connections between the hemispheres as men, the key to learning about us and living with us is listening. Men tend to be point A to point B, with little distraction in between. We are programmed to purposefully manage several threads at one time. There is a good biological reason for it. Just listen. A world of wonders will begin to gel before your eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pete Deakon

      I worked so hard to develop the ocean analogy into something respectable and here you are asking me to generalize again. Hmm. I don’t think I will. And I’m struggling with the brain part. Even if the physical reality is observable (the twenty times more connections), I’m a bit of skeptic when we then conclude, “That means humans with this brain communicate with both sides.” I know some women who communicate without using either half of their brain.

      But yes, I’m more than with you about listening.



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