I Thought This Was eHarmony?

No thanks to your comments I decided to go ahead and bite the bullet. I hate it because I have quit two times before and I usually stick to my guns on things. But I’m back at it. Online dating, here we go again.

I have no idea what the uninitiated know about online dating, but I love to share how it goes down as if they know nothing. Today’s post is about a difference between the sites and also Christ.

Besides your suggestions, the reason I’m back is because I recently learned that eHarmony doesn’t let you browse profiles. Other sites (OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match, Christian Mingle) allow a user to view anyone’s profile (even same-sex profiles that are not searching for same-sex relationships–which I mention here because it makes me laugh every time I picture the straight dudes’ faces when they saw some other straight dude had visited their page. What can I say? I am not afraid to scope out the competition and adjust accordingly.) Anyhow, this free-browsing, for a person like me, means a lot–I mean a lot–of profile viewing. Probably not a bad thing in and of itself, but the amount of time it takes is ridiculous. Especially, if, like me, you aren’t getting any dates. That’s why I quit last time. Too much time spent not dating. But this–this no browsing thing–is quite nice. What isn’t nice, and moreover is awfully humorous, is that while I thought I was signing up for eHarmony, it appears I may be on Christian Mingle.

You see, however I answered the questions about myself, the only women the site is feeding me as potential matches are those with Christ at the center of their lives, those whose faith is their number one priority, those who are looking for a man to be the spiritual leader of their family, and those who want a man for whom God is as important to him as he is to them. Wow. I felt kind of dirty after reading the twentieth or so version of that. No pressure, right?

Don’t get me wrong ladies. Seek what you want. Want what you want. I just don’t even know what any of those sentences mean. More than that, I have to admit that the mental image I get after reading those sentences is one of ignorance, weakness, and fear. What does that say? Oh well. Different strokes for different folks.

Since seeing this trend, I have looked back through my modifiable settings and I can’t find anything that indicates I only want a woman like this, most notably, I don’t have a religion requirement. The only thing I can think is that it must have been my answers to the personality questions, which unfortunately I cannot change without first, creating a new profile and second, lying.

Come to think of it, I did answer “strongly agree” that a woman’s place is the kitchen and that the ideal woman is one who recognizes the futility of “thinking for herself”. Maybe that’s what did it?

Like I tried to express before, I’m pretty sure some personalities just don’t fit into the boxes that are online dating profiles. Only time will tell. I am actually excited to discover if these women are telling the truth. We’ll see.

And if I didn’t say it before, thank you. This is fun.



  1. kbailey374

    that is odd that your profile would match that. I am a woman who would say the same as they are. And I’d be very disappointed that “my” match was someone who didn’t follow Christ. Very very weird. And kind of a waste of my $. Just goes to show that there aren’t many men like the ones we’re looking for and we already knew that lol…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pete Deakon

      The crazy thing about eHarmony is their prompts are so encouraging. Ha. When you know that match wasn’t the one, they make you feel like you just won the lottery. As the commentor below wrote, “Onwards!”


      Liked by 1 person

  2. Relinquished Reversal

    Oh wow haha, wishing you good luck on the field! I had similar issues when I was on eHarmony.. I was paired with extremes of me, so people who travelled so much and had so many responsibilities (work/volunteer/buddhism/research) they never had time to date. When I did meet up with them, I realized their personalities were just like mine, which I didn’t want! It would have been nice if it wasn’t based on personality trait questions, but on what I was actually looking for: balance in a relationship. Enough commons to bind, enough differences to keep curious. Hope you have fun on the adventure, it can be filled with cool experiences if the mind is open 🙂 Onwards!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hawksword

    Hm. Well you could keep me in the kitchen I suppose, but it would be a bit like keeping a goldfish in a birdcage. Not much fun for either of us and eventually a tad smelly…


  4. jillatjlah

    The online dating sites are a way to meet people in the digital age–the rest is up to you.

    A woman in the kitchen who realizes the futility of thinking for herself??? I must be missing something here. Is this a joke? I don’t get it, and for that reason, I’m out (shark tank reference).

    And by the way, you’re dead to me (second shark tank reference).

    Liked by 1 person

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