Ninety Shades of Green

For Janet.

“Oh God, yes!  I do, I do,” I confessed, closing my eyes tighter.

Opening my eyes, I could see disbelief in his baby blue eyes as they maneuvered to find my eyes through the tendrils that now covered them.  Never having the courage to broach the subject myself, I instantly affirmed his suggestion.  After so many years, I was still unable to resist his eyes–those intense, honest eyes.

Immediately, I regretted everything.  What if I was wrong?  What if this is all he was really after and after he got it he was going to leave me?  No.  He wasn’t like that.  Not this one.  At least that’s what I told myself in order to sustain the warmth that had come over me.

“You ready hon?  I don’t think I can wait any longer,” I half-heard him say.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I answered, trying to hide my excitement.  I wondered if he knew how excited I really was.  I felt like a volcano about to erupt.  Just think of it.  No, I couldn’t think of it.  Just the thought of it was too much.

“Michelle!  What are you doing up there?” I later heard him call from across the house.  I was so thrilled that I didn’t even realize I had stopped buttoning my blouse and taken a seat on the edge of our bed.  Flushed, I stood up, straightened my skirt, finished buttoning my blouse, looked at myself in the mirror, pulled the comforter back to perfect, and headed down the hall to the stair case.

“I’m here.  Sorry, I still can’t believe this is finally happening,” I burst.

“Geez.  If I would’ve known you were into this, we could have been doing this for years,” I heard him say with his decisive, genuine voice; a voice that reminded me why I loved him.

The way he was standing, so far below me, head tilted up, slightly turned–it was striking.

“You’re sure you meant it?” I couldn’t help but double check, feeling ashamed for infecting the moment with doubt.

“Yes.  Wow.  You really are something.  I’m just sorry it took me 35 years to ask.  Why didn’t you ever say anything all these years?” he inquired.

“Oh, I don’t know.”

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