Like the sun dimmed by an Iraqi dust storm, virtue was never difficult to see. He knew it existed even though he couldn’t always see it. Like that sun, for him, virtue drew his attention before he even knew why. And he desperately wanted to be counted among the virtuous men.
The trouble was that life kept taking up his time. When he was young, he knew he wanted to give 10% to the church. But if he gave 10%, he wouldn’t have enough money to live on. Later, he recognized he told little-white-lies too much, and vowed to stop. The next moment, he had to decide whether to tell his mom that he was watching a rated-R movie at his friend’s house. He decided to lie.
Later in life his struggle continued. Once he knew he was neglecting his friends and family by working so much, but he just had to put in a few more weeks of over-time to help finish the big office project. He knew he was a kind person at heart, but he never took the time to display that kindness to others. When he learned that love was an action word, he really believed he would start really showing the people he loved how much he loved them by his actions. He was going to spend more time with them; he was going to give them small gifts; he was going to listen better; he was going to pay them more compliments; he was going to give them more hugs. But then a new project started at work. And the church–that he still wasn’t tithing to–softball team had a big tournament this weekend, so he had to put loving off.
Forever frustrated, daily he noticed more and more men living more virtuously than he. Moreover, they seemed to do it effortlessly. He didn’t want to believe it, but he couldn’t deny what he witnessed. These other men seemed to actually thrive on their actions. When they spoke honestly and from the heart, people listened and reciprocated. When they were with their friends and family, he could see a real joy existed in the interaction. When they spent a little extra time being kind to everyone they met throughout the day, the earnest thanks they received became the envy of his eye. Taking time to learn and speak the love languages of their loved ones, he noticed these men were no less productive at work; furthermore, rumors of their deeds preceded their presence everywhere.
Looking everyday until he died, he never did figure out where they found the time.