Dear LinkedIn Connections,

I wouldn’t have “Liked” me either.  Hurt doesn’t begin to describe how I felt every passing day, every passing week.  My fervent efforts appeared to fall short in the eyes of even my first degree connections.  Molded by your advice, there I was pursuing my passion.  And even those sage connections didn’t “Like” my work.  Few canyons reach the depth to which my professional depression dove.

“Joy!  Bright spark of divinity!”  In a moment that can only be described by Beethoven’s Ninth, I saw the light.  Consequently, I owe you an apology.

Whether you felt my anger or not, I’m sorry for ever doubting you.  I’m sorry for being upset with you.  It’s difficult, you know?  I’m new to this, and I was only thinking about me.  Until recently, I wasn’t able to look at the problem from your perspective, but I see the truth now.

I realized that LinkedIn is a professional website!  How did I ever miss this fact?!  This means that supervisors, co-workers, and any of your other professional connections are going to see that you “Liked” my blog.  If they’re worth their salt, they’d surely trust your integrity and assume that you actually read my post before “Liking” it.  Why is this a problem?  Because if they know that you’re reading my blog, guess what they know you’re not doing?  Work!

I am so sorry for ever doubting you.  All this time I thought you didn’t actually enjoy my writing.  Now it is clear that you do, but you just aren’t ready to go public yet.  That’s cool.  I’m O.K. with that, as long as we understand each other.

In closing, let me just say one more time that I’m sorry.  Know that I never stopped liking you, even when I thought you didn’t “Like” me.  As time passes it seems like saying I was “angry” might have been too strong; it was more a general feeling of confusion.  Okay, I think your boss is beginning to suspect something, so you’d better get going.  Thank you for your time.  (For real, go!  Don’t worry about me.  From now on, I’ll just assume you “Like” every single post.)

Very Respectfully,

A Mugwump