A Bitter End to Christmas
“Shhh,” Tinsel mouthed to Mercutious, as he deftly and silently approached his target. Mercutious sat opposite the campfire from Jupton. He couldn’t watch, but neither could he look away as Tinsel, the leader of the Elven resistance, lined up his first officer’s pointy ear for a playful–though painful–flick.
“Ahh!” Jupton cried, as he leaned forward and away from the assailant. Seeing Tinsel standing there with an ear-to-ear grin infuriated and invigorated him. “So you’re back! This is good. How does it look?”
Tinsel informed the rebel Elven leaders that since their last attack, Santa had doubled the number of guards at the wall.
“Were you able to get a response from Venspu? Do they know tomorrow is the day?” Jupton asked.
“I was. They do,” Tinsel replied.
“So this is it,” Jupton pronounced. “The end of Christmas. The end of Santa’s unlawful reign, and the end of the enslavement of two million innocent elves.”
“God willing,” Tinsel said. “You know the plan. We know the plan. Stick to the plan. Venspu wrote that he only has two thousand elves willing to fight. Of those, he personally vouches for only fifteen hundred,” he stopped, harnessed a grave look and continued, “that means the fight is ours.”
“The fight is ours,” muttered the small group of officers in unison.
“Santa is not going to go down easy,” Tinsel lectured. “He has his lists. He remembers everything.” A few of the men chuckled. “What?” Tinsel asked.
Mercutious couldn’t help but sing, “He’s making a list, checking it twice.” Soon the others joined in, “He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice.”
A thunderous laughter erupted among the rebel leaders.
“That’s funny,” Tinsel assented. “You’re right. I talk too much. Get some sleep. Be ready at first light.”
Quite possibly one of the best things I have ever read!
That makes me smile Kaelyn. I just like picturing elves flicking each other’s ears. 🙂
I laughed hysterically at this. Wow. One of the best pieces of flash fiction I have read in a very long time.
Thanks man. Appreciate it.
Reblogged this on Revolution and Rhetoric: Rough Drafts and Musings On Dark, Existential Topics and commented:
The “War on Christmas” Made Real…By Eff-Five.com!
Pretty creative, I’ll say!!!
Reading the first in a while.
Keep going Pete…
Thanks, as always, for the encouragement Barb. Hopefully see you Thursday.
Quite a read.
Thanks for saying so. Love the image you use.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I enjoyed reading this
LikeLiked by 1 person