Congratulations, You’re Finally A Man. Now What?

Yes, ladies, I’m talking to you. You did it! And I couldn’t be prouder. Not that I ever doubted you.

But here’s my question: What would I have to do if I wanted to become a woman? Don’t laugh. I’m serious. I want to know.

I don’t mean that I want to go under the knife for this change. You didn’t have to for yours, so why should I? What would I have to do?

I’m no good at small talk, so let’s get to the point. I don’t actually want to be a woman. Not because I see anything wrong with it, but because I love being a man. Love it. I get to be stronger than you. I got to fight a war. (Well, if put under our days’ heavy scrutiny on claims of valor, it is more accurate to say I got to “participate in combat operations where our aircraft (rental) was fired upon (small arms) only a (singular) handful of times–if that (it was dark)”.) I get to be taller and heavier than you. What else? In 2015, what else do I get to love about being a man? Oh, here’s one. *Don’t shoot me* but manual labor-wise, I can out work you.

Humph. Now that I’m attempting to write this clever post, I’m struggling. Everything I love about being a man involves physicality, which seems to have been used in times past to protect, to guard, to keep safe. But what needs protecting, guarding, or keeping safe if you women are now men in every way save size and strength? All along, I thought women were what needed this protection. But now that you all are men, I’m confused. Maybe the mistake was mine. Maybe men never were protecting women. What were they protecting then? Seems like weakness is what some would answer, men were protecting the weaker members of society. Maybe some men were, but not me. I never wanted to protect weakness. I wanted to protect rightness. Keeping weakness alive and safe is counter-intuitive. What were men protecting?

Were men protecting strength? Like a Batman “[You have to] Endure, Master Wayne,” kind of strength? Were men protecting forgiveness? Were they protecting decency? Were men protecting grace? How about love? Were men protecting love? Would love exist if there were no women? Seems like making love would be tougher without women. I wonder if they were protecting life itself, in protecting women. Is that possible? And don’t tell me that you women haven’t become like men in this regard, either. I see you. I hear you. You don’t want to make babies, just like men can’t make babies. Have you thought that one through, though? Really thought it through?

Look. Like most men, I’m no saint. Read my book and you’ll see. I messed up. But that doesn’t mean I’m dumb. I get it. You’re scared. But I’d suggest joining me in striving to be better, rather than overcoming your fear by changing into what you dread (second Dark Knight mention if you’re keeping track George). You did it. You proved you could become one of us. But now it’s time to put the costume up (third). It’s time to show me what it means to be a woman–only you can do that.

Ladies, don’t be a man. Be a better woman.

18 comments

  4. Kaelyn

    It’s not about being better men or women, but being better people in general. Protecting rightness, like you said. In the past maybe physical protecting was more prevalent, but in today’s world, fighting for rightness doesn’t always require physical strength. Women can just as much contribute to the fight for rightness, and we will because fighting for what’s right transcends any physical differences we have as people.

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  5. A_Female

    Just a thought: what if some men weren’t protecting weakness, but rather, unconsciously encouraging it? If there is no one who “needs” protecting, then some might lose purpose, no?

    As for me, I enjoy the physicality of a strong man. I appreciate a little stoicism and pride too. I also love when a man can express his own vulnerability, own it and accept my emotional strength when I offer it.
    Power exchange is where it’s at for me.

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  7. noelleg44

    Loved this post – you already have one attribute I like in a man: thoughtfulness. I like the feeling of protection by a man (the physicality is a draw) but I also like having the freedom to be as good as I can be in whatever I choose to take on – sports, science, etc -alongside of men, not in competition with or beneath. I once had a date with a guy who got turned off because I played college varsity basketball. I guess I was looking for someone who would be proud of what I did…so, no, I would definitely NOT want to be a man.

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  8. EDW

    What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks are you talking about? This is like a private internal rant with absolutely no links or anecdotes for readers to know what, specifically, you’re referencing.

    There are a lot of ways to be a “man” or a “woman.” Maybe you should just love being you, love your body and your strength and your history of military service–whatever it is that you love about yourself–and don’t worry about whether or not someone with a vagina is infringing on your perceived territory.

    Also, for the record, men are–generally speaking–still physically much stronger than women. Which is why we still get our asses beat and raped all the time.

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  9. helpingu2bu

    My reaction is a small “huh”?

    I THINK I understand what you are trying to say, but I don’t like assuming so:

    What makes you think women are truing to be like men? Could it be that some women are just trying to be themselves–which carries with it things traditionally thought to be male?

    Perhaps you and those with whom you are in a relationship need to define what the roles mean to you?

    Most women I know want a man who is a strong leader and spiritual (and physical) protector. Some women I know do not have a role model (father) in their lives who can show them what that looks like so they go off what they have in their lives–a mom or grandma who wears two hats.

    I guess I am looking for some clarification about why you came to the conclusion to start? Any other posts that go with this one?

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  11. jazzynmv

    Done it again, have you? I like how your mind works and thoroughly like how you present it. Made my head go a million miles a minute and in an attempt to bring all the craziness together, had to make a post 🙂

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  13. thesarahdoughty

    Lots of women want to be treated as men in the workforce, get the same pay, blah blah blah. That said, not all women are that way. Women may like to have these things, but women like being independent, capable of holding their own. That doesn’t mean they don’t want a man. Don’t want things women want, like love, affection, and devotion. But she’s not going to be very happy is she’s your boss and you all make more money than you.

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  15. Kit

    As a trans person, I’m not too concerned about making any blanket statements about “what women want” and “what men want.” People want things. Some people want different things than others. Sometimes those things are informed by social expectations of gender-appropriate behavior. Sometimes those social expectations change as social needs themselves change. It’s all a big soup.

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  18. Barbara

    I personally love being feminine and having the protection of the man who loves me. It allows for the fact being woman can find great appreciation in the man who guards me with strength and courage the greatest gift on earth.

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